Dear Birth Mother,
We are Matt and Tricia and we appreciate your taking the time to look at our profile. We understand that this is not an easy time for you and we want you to know how much we value your consideration of us as parents.
To look at us, Tricia and I make a somewhat unusual couple. She is quite tall and I am very short. I use leg braces and a cane in order to walk. Despite the differences in our appearance and physical abilities, our hearts are in the same place. We have been married since September of 2000 and we love each other very much and want very much to grow a family.
Tricia and I met in 1999 and if you saw the film “You’ve Got Mail” you might have an idea of what our courtship was like. We “met” while playing a computer game, she in Illinois and me in Connecticut. After playing the game, we struck up an online chat friendship that grew deeper and deeper until in June of 2000 we decided to meet in person. It was like we had known each other for years. In July, I asked Tricia to marry me and in September of 2000 we did just that.
Tricia is 35 years old and grew up in Illinois in a farming community. Her mom was primarily a homemaker and her Dad was the road commissioner for their town. She was the last child born in her family, with three brothers much older. As a girl she used to like to play with dolls and do arts and crafts with her mom. I am 42 years old and grew up in and around New York City. My dad was a junior high school administrator and my mom was a teacher until she married my dad. Then, she stayed home and took care of me. My sister arrived when I was 11 years old. As a boy, I used to like to watch TV and pretend a lot (cops and robbers, things like that). From our parents, Tricia and I both understood the importance of a loving two parent home and we knew before we got married how much we wanted to have a family. The fact that we cannot grow our family in the “usual” way has not changed our feelings. We still very much want to nurture a little baby into a happy child and then into a productive adult.
Our extended families are very excited that we are planning to grow our family through adoption. My parents live about two hours away and Tricia and I visit them several times a year. I know my dad will be a doting grandpa and my mom will be a source of great wisdom to her grandchild. Tricia’s mom passed away in 2001 but she has a big family in Illinois eagerly awaiting the arrival of our first child. Tricia has five young children in her family from ages 14 all the way to newborn twins. So our child’s visits to Illinois will be full of attention and fun.
Tricia and I both believe very strongly in the importance of education. We both excelled in school. Tricia attended North Central College in Illinois and I attended Harvard College in Massachusetts. We believe that a good education opens so many doors later on. This is why we will encourage our child to do the very best that he or she can academically, so that they can pursue whatever dreams they might have.
Tricia is very soft-spoken and I am very talkative. We often comment on how I will teach our children to be articulate and Tricia will teach them to think before they speak.
We live in a suburban town in Connecticut in a one year old French Colonial home that we love dearly. We moved here because the school system is good and there are nearby parks and recreation facilities.
Sometimes when we talk about what life would be like with a child, we realize that we really wouldn’t have to change our routines all that much. It might help you get to know us better if I walked you through a typical weekday and weekend in our home.
Most days, Tricia and I work in an office building about 10 minutes from where we live. We both work for the same company in a similar field but very different jobs. Usually one day a week, we work from our home office. When we become parents, we plan to work full time from our home office so we can take care of our child. Most days, we get up around 7:30am, going through the usual morning rituals while the Today Show is playing on the TV. We usually ride into work together and arrive between 9 and 9:30. Tricia’s job is very technical so she spends most of her day solving technical computer problems. My job is more about business, so I spend my day doing a lot of reading and attending meetings. Our work day ends between 5pm and 6pm. When we get home, Tricia cooks dinner and after we eat, we usually spend the rest of the evening talking and watching TV or a video. We’re usually in bed between 11:00pm and midnight.
On the weekends, we have a very comfortable schedule. I usually sleep late on Saturday mornings while Tricia shops for groceries for the week. Then we have a late breakfast or early lunch. Then we usually find something special to do out of the house. Sometimes we’ll go to a movie. Sometimes we’ll go shopping. Sometimes we’ll just go for a drive. We are each other’s best friends so we enjoy doing pretty much everything together. Saturday nights, we’ll watch “fix-it” shows on TV and maybe play some computer games. Tricia just taught me how to play Dominoes! Sunday mornings we have our Sunday brunch ritual. Tricia will cook up a batch of eggs, while I butter the toast (she is the better cook in the house). Then we’ll read the paper while we eat. Because we work hard during the week, we really try to relax during the weekends. We go at a real easy pace. We often like to watch an old movie on a Sunday afternoon. Sunday is also “pay the bills” day. I usually handle that chore.
So you see, most of the things I just described work as well or even better with a child around. We imagine teaching our child all sorts of games. I think about reading stories and watching silly TV shows. Tricia looks forward to doing arts and crafts. But most of all, we are so looking forward to finding out what natural talents our child exhibits as he or she gets older. Everyone is great at something! It’s just a matter of being patient and giving encouragement to what a child excels at.
Of course, the most important thing is that anyone in our family grows up to be a kind, thoughtful, caring person. We feel that the best way to raise a loving child is to show that child lots of love and respect. While we are not religious, we do consider ourselves spiritual people. Our fundamental belief is in the importance of self-respect and empathy for others.
We cannot think of any greater purpose in our life than to share our life with a brand new member of the human race. We know that all the love we have to give will come back to us a million times over as we see our child go through life’s trials and tribulations and come out on top. We cannot thank you enough for having the courage to do what you are doing. It is by your decision, that you are helping a loving couple grow a family and in turn giving a baby the warmth of a family which he or she so richly deserves.