As we sit together in our living room talking about our dream of adopting a child, we find ourselves trying to imagine the days ahead. We’ve been together for 14 years. After 6 years of infertility treatments, doctors told us that we would not be able to bear a child. Since our family has had successful experience with adoption, we are joyful and hopeful about becoming parents through adoption.
We find ourselves wondering about the woman, we do not yet know, who might, at the same time, be thinking about the need to make an adoption plan for her expected child. Our paths may cross and we may not know this at this time. We both have a loving wish to give the best possible life to a child. We are both asking good questions and moving forward out of love for a child whose face we imagine as we sit and talk, with hope, about the future.
Our families have known the joys of adoption and are very supportive of our adoption plans. Jason has two cousins, now adults, who joined the family (in the US) by adoption. Reisa and Stephen are our cousins and they live nearby; our families, together with another cousin, who adopted Noah, now age 5, are excited about welcoming another member of our family through adoption.
Our greatest wish has been to share the love we have with a child. I, Kim, will be a full time at-home mom. I love children and have made caring for and educating children my life’s devotion. With both an undergraduate and master’s degree in education, I have been a pre-school and kindergarten teacher for over twelve years. I’m at home now, full-time, in preparation for being a full-time mom. I can’t wait to listen to music, walk in the park, say hi to the animals and bake cookies with our child. This will be my greatest joy. Jason is a manager at a local electronics firm; he can’t wait to be a father and looks forward to flexing his hours so he can spend as much time as possible with our child.
When Jason and I were growing up, we both knew the joys of “just being kids”. We could play and our mothers would greet us at home with snacks. My father taught me how to swim; we frequently went on picnics and put on “shows” for our parents. In Jason’s family, he and his parents often did outdoor activities like going to football games in the fall. We both hope to give the same warm home life to our child. Jason and I still know how to play. While we were dating, we went on Sunday afternoon drives, starting out by just pointing the car out the drive way and seeing where the road took us. It was fun to discover fruit stands and farms, little specialty markets, beautiful views and friendly conversations along the way. We love spending time together and look forward to warm family adventures with our child-to-be.
Jason: We met fourteen years ago through the thoughtful suggestion of my cousin. Two years after we began dating, I took Kim to a candle-lit dinner at an elegant restaurant, with a harpist serenading us, and asked her to be my wife. We were both so excited that we rushed to Kim’s house to show her family the ring and so that I could properly ask her father for her hand in marriage. It was very romantic. (Her father gave his blessing!)
Kim is a warm and affectionate person. She is the most giving person I’ve ever known. Everyone who meets her is drawn to her. I’ve often been moved to see the love and respect the children in her pre-school and kindergarten classes have for her. They seem to gravitate toward her no matter where we are. Our nieces and nephews love to be with her; they are always hugging her and making her things. Even our grown nieces and nephews still want to “hang out” with her. I love her dearly and can’t wait to share the joys of parenting with her.
I am a manager at a local electronics firm. I love working with electronics, cars and all things technical. My background is in electrical engineering and I am fortunate to be able to easily flex my schedule to be a part of our child’s day-to-day life.
We live in a quiet community, in a neighborhood across from a golf course. The neighborhood has lots of children of all ages. After Jason’s father died and his mother remarried and moved, neither he nor his mother wished to sell the family home. We now live in the house that Jason grew up in and so the neighborhood is a second family to us. Several of Jason’s friends have remained living in the neighborhood, after becoming professionals in their own right, and one other friend moved back to the neighborhood after marrying and establishing himself in his career. I, Kim, have a great relationship with my mother-in-law (none of the bad jokes apply to her!) and the connection to his childhood feels nurturing and warm, not limiting.
Our home has three bedrooms and a very large yard. Our back porch is stacked with various toys that have kept our nieces, nephews and even our neighbors’ children busy with activities for every season. We have already chosen the room our child will sleep in and we are extremely excited to get it ready.
We both are close with our families and spend a lot of time together. Both of our parents live close by and we share meals and relaxed family times frequently during the week. Kim’s sisters Shirley and Jewl live close by with their husbands and children. Shared meals, evenings of games and laughter, touching base to see how each other’s days have been, are frequent joys in our families.
We both believe strongly in education and in giving the gift of education to our child. We’ve started a fund for college so that our child will have choices in the future. Jason’s background is in electronic engineering and mine is in education; we want to pass on the gift of an education in the field of the child’s interests.
We hope to pass on many of the values that our parents shared with us. Both our families’ value honesty and being the best person you can be. We take pride in having a good character all the way around. We strongly believe in respecting all people and will raise our child to have compassion and empathy for everyone’s struggles and values. We appreciate that no one really knows the life of another and it’s important not to make assumptions about the experience and perspectives of other people. We value community and the importance of literally being “there” for our neighbors.
Kim and I have learned a lot from each other over the years. We have learned to trust and be patient. As we proceeded through infertility treatments, we understood that as long as we have each other, we would make it through. We found that we felt both stronger and closer over this trying time.
Kim: Since our adoption process has begun with the agency, we both notice that we are smiling more and having an energy around us that didn’t exist before. Hope is a great feeling to have. To anticipate that someone might be willing to give us the cherished experience of parenting gives us unspeakable gratitude.
We’d love to have a chance to talk and meet with you at some point if you’re open to this. We’d like to reassure you of our pledge to give your child our unconditional love. And we’d like you to have a chance to ask questions, the answers to which might be reassuring to you in that you will find your child will be fully loved and taken care of.
We want you to know that we’ll be happy to share photo and letter updates with you over the years of your child’s growing up. Please let us know if there are skills and talents in your family that you want us to particularly look for and nurture in your child. Mostly, we plan to listen carefully and encourage him or her in whatever interests she/he develops as a unique part of her/his identity.
Thank you again for taking the time to read our letter. If you would like to speak with us directly or learn more about us, please call Full Circle, toll free at: 1-888-452-3678. We look forward to having a chance to speak with you, if you would like. We sincerely wish you comfort and peace with all the decisions facing you at this time.
Our best wishes to you.