Dear Expectant Parent(s),
Hello! We’re Ian and Robyn. Thank you for taking the time to read our profile. We hope these pages give you some sense of who we are, both as a couple and as individuals, and the type of family life we hope to share with a future child.
Our relationship began very intentionally on a dating app. We met in the middle (literally!) at a diner between our two cities in October 2019. We clicked so quickly that the decision to keep seeing each other felt natural. We had both lived enough to realize our connection was special. By the end of the year, we had already met one another’s friends and family and began making plans for the future. We have lived together since March 2020. We had a small backyard wedding with close family in the summer of 2021 – which felt to us like formalizing a decision we had made long ago.
No couple is perfect, but we see eye-to-eye on the big things. We appreciate how we enrich each other’s lives, and how much fun we have together – even when we’re going about the less glamorous aspects of daily life (like chores). We share core values surrounding family, community, and the life we want to build together.
We always knew we wanted children and had individually been considering adoption for some time. Soon after we married, we learned that having biological children was not possible, which made the decision to pursue adoption even more clear.
Robyn is the most thoughtful person I know! This quality shines through every aspect of her life. In response to questions, she’ll often answer: “I’m still thinking about that.”
She loves creating space for the people in her life to be happy and thrive. As a French teacher, this means she works to organize travel and extracurricular activities that help her students learn a new language. As a friend, this means that Robyn wants our home to be a gathering place for the people we care about. I have never met anyone as interested in her fellow humans as Robyn. She enjoys podcasts featuring hosts offering advice or discussing people’s problems (and sometimes their outrageous stories) for the same reason.
Besides being interested in people, Robyn is herself a fascinating person with many interests. She’s bilingual, lived in France for several years, and is an avid volleyball player. Since we moved to our current residence, Robyn added home repair to her hobbies and now has strong opinions about drills, saws, and nail guns.
Robyn is a kind, patient, and flexible partner who complements me well and brings out the best in me and everyone around her. I know that she’ll be an amazing parent.
One of the things that I love most about Ian is that he is fully and unapologetically himself – energetic, nerdy, and passionate. After our first date, I already knew about Ian’s professional ambitions, his favorite sports team, and the type of partner he was looking for: “someone who recognizes that life is complicated but doesn’t needlessly complicate things.” Ever committed to reciprocity, Ian is that partner himself.
Having overcome serious health issues early on in life, Ian knows that time is precious and makes a point to be intentional with how he spends it. Ian consistently works hard to pursue his dreams in all areas of his life, including his hobbies and his relationships. He has succeeded in establishing a career around his passion for history and his belief in education. He’s also hilarious – constantly making up parody songs to accompany daily chores or elaborate on our private jokes. Above all, however, Ian prioritizes spending quality time with the people he loves.
I know that Ian will be a generous, nurturing, and reliable parent. He takes the responsibility of parenting seriously, and he will put everything into it, just as he does in all his pursuits. I cannot wait to have this adventure with him as my partner, love, and co-parent.
After moving around so much for our careers, we were finally able to settle into our “forever” home in August 2022. This is a multi-family property with a shared garden. We live on two floors of one building while renting out other floors to graduate students from around the world. (We lived the graduate student life and are grateful we can help provide comfortable and affordable housing.) The property has endless potential to evolve with our lifestyle and family for decades to come.
Our home and living spaces reflect our love of old and eclectic things, one-of-a-kind items that bring us joy. Our top floor is a big open space (we call it the Great Room) with furnishings that include a movie theater popcorn machine and an antique telephone, along with comfy seating. We prioritize comfort in our home above all else. Key to our sense of home is our adopted cat, Lenny. He quacks like a duck, charms everyone he meets, and sees himself as the true head of the household.
Our neighborhood is known for its local pride, rich mixture of cultures, charming parks, and friendly neighbors. We live near a public elementary school and have a busy library at the end of our block. We enjoy strolling around the neighborhood and discovering hidden gems. This is a very child-friendly place to live, and the many playgrounds within walking distance from our home are always busy.
We are close with both of our immediate families. Even though we live in different states from our parents and siblings (Ian has a sister, and Robyn has a brother), we speak regularly on the phone about our daily lives, as well as our big plans. Both of us are lucky that our parents are healthy and happily still together. At our wedding, we were excited to realize that our parents viewed our marriage as a true union of two families and welcomed each other into their lives.
Everyone is supportive of our decision to adopt, and excited to welcome whoever joins our family. Our siblings have young children (a total of three kids under the age of eight), and everyone is eager for a new cousin to join in the fun! Popular games when we’re together include playing “Titanic” in a model engine room built by Ian’s father for his grandson and the “crab game,” a form of tag Ian invented involving dramatic sound effects and him chasing young children around while crab-walking. Quieter activities include playing school, building blocks, and coloring.
When we do get together in person, we make the time count. Robyn’s family gathers every summer in the Great Lakes for a week together at the beach, making s’mores and playing games. Last year, Ian’s family joined them for part of the week. We traditionally cook for the whole crew as long as someone else does the dishes.
We make sure to incorporate fun into our weekly routine. On weekdays, we take turns cooking dinner and winding down with shared favorite TV shows. (Our cat Lenny has a reserved spot on the couch next to us.) Weekend mornings feature special “big breakfasts,” reading the local newspaper, and doing the crossword puzzles together to start the day. We’re often out at local festivals and street fairs in our community. We would look forward to bringing a child on our trips to go apple picking, or to the beach, or a new exhibit at a museum. Some evenings before bed, we take turns reading aloud from a shared book, using impersonations of celebrity voices for the characters.
We have an active social life with our group of friends, some of whom have young children. We look forward to adding another one to the mix!
Both sides of our family have holiday traditions that we have continued together. We host a big annual Thanksgiving gathering in our home and travel to the Midwest for Christmas and Hanukkah festivities with nieces and nephews on both sides of our family. As educators, we have the flexibility to travel and spend time with friends and family farther from home during the summer and are excited to include a young child on our trips to the Great Lakes.
Thank you for taking the time to learn about us. We sincerely hope that this profile has helped you imagine what life as part of our family would look like. We are ready to welcome a child into our lives with all the unpredictable and lasting changes they will bring. We are committed to learning and growing along with them as we journey through parenthood and different stages of life.
We promise that we will always have the child’s best interests in mind – and in our hearts. We promise that we will love them unconditionally and will do our best to help them grow into the person they were meant to be. Our home will be warm and supportive, full of laughter and books. We will model kindness, honesty, and openness to the unexpected paths life often takes. We would be open to staying in touch and incorporating the birth parents into our lives to the extent that they are comfortable.
We want you to know that we are approaching this process with deep respect for you and for the difficult choice you are considering as you read these words. Whatever you decide, we wish only the very best for you and the child and admire your courage as you figure out the next steps in your journey.