Introduction
Dear Expectant Mother/Father,
First off, we want to thank you for taking time to read our profile. The fact that you are reading letters from us and other potential adoptive parents shows that you are very considerate person, and it demonstrates how important it is to you to make sure that your child will be given a loving and supportive home. We greatly admire and respect your decision to consider an adoptive family for your child, and that we think you are a very special person for having made this choice. You are a hero to us, and we mean that.
Our names are Mike and DJ. We have been in a relationship for nine years, and we have been legally married for three years. We live in a family-oriented, safe and culturally rich neighborhood in the nation’s capital, Washington DC. We are two easygoing and fun-loving people who share a strong commitment to each other and to our families. We have been blessed with excellent health, good education, steady work, and supportive family and friends. We would like nothing better than to become parents to a child, and to provide that child with the incredible love and great opportunities that we have experienced in our own lives.
As you can see from our pictures, DJ is African-American and Mike is Caucasian. As a mixed-race couple, we are interested to adopt a child of African-American or biracial heritage. We would be delighted to have either a girl or a boy. We are dedicated to providing a stable & nurturing environment to a child, and committed to teaching a child to be confident and aware of all parts of their identity. For us, this includes a continuing relationship between the child and both of his/her families, biological and adoptive. If you are interested in us as possible parents for your child, we’d like to know what you’d like for connection over the years – we’re open to in-person visits, phone or Skype conversations, sending you photo/letter updates at a frequency that helps you feel informed; we’d also be happy to put up a private online photo album on the web so you can see how your child is doing from wherever you are from a phone or computer. Photography is a hobby of Mike’s, so we take plenty of pictures at family outings. Please know we will value connection with you, if you’re open to this, in the days ahead. As we think about the future, part of our vision of parenting includes making plans for the child’s future success and happiness – and toward that end, we have already started adding funds to a college savings fund for this baby-to-be. We look forward to learning more about what you want for your child and how we can help make your vision for them a reality.
We are excited to tell you a little more about who we are, what we stand for, and what we could offer a child.
About Our Relationship
We were introduced to each other by a mutual friend, who was trying to do some “matchmaking.” Neither of us had many good experiences in the past when friends tried to pair us up with other people – but in this case – the effort could not have been more successful!
DJ lived in Washington DC and he was visiting New York City (where Mike lived) for a work trip. Our mutual friend told us to give each other a call, and we agreed to meet for dinner together. We wound up talking for hours that night! The conversation flowed so quickly and easily, right from the start. We both recognized how rare it is to meet someone who you have an instant connection with. So we agreed to start a long-distance dating relationship, with lots of phone calls, emails, and weekend visits to one another in either New York City or DC – usually taking the Greyhound bus to keep our travel costs as low as possible. As our relationship deepened, it felt harder and harder to live apart from each other in two separate cities, so we explored ways to live together. Mike eventually found a great job in Washington DC, and so in 2006 Mike moved from NYC to DC to start the new job and to move into a new apartment together with DJ. Things have been terrific for us ever since.
During a vacation to Puerto Vallarta Mexico in 2008, DJ surprised Mike with a marriage proposal at a restaurant overlooking the beach at sunset. Mike was caught off guard by the proposal – he hadn’t been expecting it, and marriage between two guys wasn’t a very common thing just yet – and so the first thing that he actually said was, “Wait, are you serious?” DJ was serious – and he explained that he wanted to make a lifelong commitment to spend our whole lives together. Mike was so touched by the proposal that he started to cry as he said “YES!”
The next year we had a lovely wedding with about 100 members of our family and friends in attendance. The wedding was one of best moments of our lives, because it was so wonderful to have our families meet one another and gather together in support of our relationship. In a symbol of the incredible love and support that we had from our families, Mike’s 89-year old grandmother travelled all the way from Minnesota and DJ’s 100-year old grandmother travelled all the way from South Carolina to attend our wedding in Washington DC. As you can imagine, that travel was quite an undertaking for two women of that age. Since Mike’s grandma was somewhat frail, she took up a new walking regimen several months beforehand to make sure that she would be fit enough to take part in the wedding. We were so honored that she would make that extra effort for us. DJ’s grandma did the same, and even more. For a long time now, it has been a tradition in DJ’s family to dance the Electric Slide at weddings, and DJ’s grandma insisted that she was going to do the Electric Slide at our wedding, even though she was 100 years old. Everyone was worried about her doing this, in case she might fall — but she did it! She arrived at the wedding in bright silver sneakers, and with just a little help from one of DJ’s brothers, she danced the Electric Slide alongside the two of us and all the other guests. She also gave an amazing speech at the wedding, where she commented on how far the country has come, from an older time when marrying someone from a different race was illegal, to our current days where love is celebrated, even between two men. How remarkable it was to have our grandmothers’ participation in our wedding, and their blessing and support for our relationship!
We applied for a marriage license on the very first day that they were available to same-sex couples in Washington DC. It felt good to have the blessings of our family at our wedding, as well as the legal approval of our union from the local government. We have now been married for over three years, and we have known each other for nearly nine years.
DJ Describes Mike:
My husband is one of the most caring, funny and hard-working people I have ever met. He will often stop whatever he is doing to help a family member or good friend in need. If I feel discouraged by something, he finds ways to make me laugh – whether it is making up a song & singing it slightly off-key or spontaneously dancing until I join in. He loves cooking and fixing up our home. On one of his first visits to my apartment in DC when we were dating long-distance, he surprised me by reorganizing my entire kitchen – it was welcome and gave me a sense of how wonderful it would be to live together. He has an immense appreciation for nature, including astronomy and bird watching. Before I dated Mike, I never paid much attention to clouds or birds in the sky or recognized the beauty in the changing of the seasons. I know he would pass this immense sense of appreciation and wonder about the beauty of the natural world to a child. He is very practical with money and financial planning and has taught me a lot about how to prepare for the future. He is also very close with his family, including his parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. Each day I have with him is a blessing. Seeing how he is with children on both sides of our family, I am so excited to be a parent with him and expand our happy family.
When I watch “Uncle Mike” spending time with his nieces and nephews, whether it is teaching them about different types of birds or clouds in the sky or chasing them around the yard in a spirited game of hide-and-seek or consoling them when they get upset, I see visions of what a great Dad he will be.
Mike Describes DJ:
DJ is very outgoing, giving, and loving. As his grandmother would say, he has the “gift of gab.” He is one of those kinds of people who can easily engage anyone in conversation – even total strangers — and have them laughing in minutes! DJ is very giving, too. In addition to his full-time job, he has spent countless hours volunteering with many organizations over the years. For example, when we first moved in together in DC, DJ volunteered with a number of nonprofit organizations focusing on revitalizing economically impacted Black neighborhoods in DC. I really admire him for taking the time to do important, community-minded things like that. DJ is also a very loving and romantic person. He is totally dedicated to our mutual families and friends, and he is always there for anyone in need of a hand or a shoulder to cry on. His romantic nature is so sweet. He likes to hide little notes and gifts in our apartment for me to find. We have now known each other for eight and a half years, and I can say without question that my life is so much more rich and wonderful for being able to travel through time together with him. I am so glad that we found each other.
What We Hope to Offer a Child
Over the last three years we have been preparing to welcome a child into our home & lives. We both have financially stable jobs with generous paternity benefits to allow us both to spend considerable time at home with the child during the first year, and with flexible work-from-home schedules. Mike works for the Federal Government as a grants officer, and works from our apartment 2-3 days a week. DJ works for a large nonprofit that creates education programs and also works from home 2-3 days a week. Both of us plan take a substantial amount of time off work when a child is placed in our home. We are also considering having one of us move to part time in order to make sure we can give a child the attention she or he needs.
We have been preparing to be parents for several years now. We have taken multiple trainings around different topics related to parenthood & adoption, including child safety, methods to nurture a child to have a healthy sense of identity related to their racial and adoptive heritage and child/parent communication. As we mentioned, we also started a college savings fund for our future child. We have also been adjusting our interests and schedules to focus more on domestic activities & interests, recognizing that being a parent requires complete dedication and commitment to the needs and schedule of a child.
We both grew up in safe and nurturing households where the support, guidance and love we each received helped us develop a healthy sense of self, pride in our uniqueness & talents and an upbeat & hopeful perspective about the world – and our place in it. We want to give that same gift to a child, knowing that we are also getting the gift of a child’s boundless love and the privilege of nurturing her or his endless potential.
As a same-sex male couple, we decided that adoption is our best chosen path to parenthood. We both have witnessed the positive power of adoption in both our lives. In a previous relationship, Mike was a co-parent to his now ex-boyfriend’s daughter. Mike is still close with his former partner’s daughter, who now calls him “Uncle Mike” and keeps both of us up-to-date on the joys and obstacles in her life. DJ has a number of family members who were adopted into the family as babies and who now lead happy, fulfilling lives. These experiences have taught us that we can love a child that is not biologically related to us, and that our families will welcome any adoptive child as a full part of our family.
We live in a safe, diverse and kid-friendly neighborhood in Washington DC with many child care & school options close by for when our child is older, including one agency right across the street from our apartment. Our neighborhood has many different types of families raising children, including same-sex couples, opposite-sex couples, couples from many different racial and cultural backgrounds, including many interracial and international couples. A child growing up in our neighborhood & home would blend in well with their peers, while still having many opportunities to celebrate their uniqueness through the rich cultural festivals, events and celebrations that occur regularly in Washington, DC.
We are very excited about sharing our family traditions with our child – like baking Mike’s grandmother’s famous Christmas cookies during the holiday season – dressing up in costume and taking kids tick-or-treating during Halloween – and also creating new traditions. We are lucky to have a very large and supportive extended family with many nieces and nephews who can’t wait to have a new cousin. We also have many close friends in DC who have recently had children and also those who are in the process of having their own children. We look forward to taking a child to play dates at the homes of good friends, and taking our child to see places and events here in DC like the Kite flying festival on the Mall and the Smithsonian Natural History Museum. Our child will be surrounded by love and support, invitations to have fun and respectful connections with family and friends, and live in one of the most culturally rich cities in the nation. They will have opportunities to build self-confidence, follow their dreams and have the encouragement of everyone in their lives.
Our Family & Friends
Family and friends mean a lot to us. We have lovingly covered the walls of our long apartment with photographs of our dear family and friends. Every time we walk down the hall, it feels like we have their love and light shining on us.
Both of us have many brothers and sisters, many of whom already have young children of their own. Our parents on both sides of the family are looking forward to doting on another grandchild. DJ’s youngest sister can’t wait to babysit and spend time with a new niece or nephew. Our child will have a large extended family – including what will be the child’s 3 grandparents, 5 uncles & aunts, and over a dozen cousins – who will provide us and our child with lots of love and support.
We are lucky to have a wide, diverse circle of friends in our lives, including many positive female role models, who will be a large part of our circle of support as we raise a child. Our friend’s Cyndi & Van, new mothers themselves, are so excited to introduce their son to any child that comes into our lives. One of DJ’s closest friends from college, a music director at a local synagogue, lives nearby in a suburb of DC, is excited to help us introduce a child to music. Our friend Ramon is a newly adoptive parent himself.
Our Apartment & Neighborhood
We live in a large two bedroom apartment in a safe and family oriented community in Washington DC. It is near “Embassy Row,” so we see people from many different nations in our neighborhood who work at the Embassies. Our community is racially diverse and very receptive to different cultures as a result. There are a number of school age children as well as activities & events geared towards children, including numerous museums, play parks, and cultural fairs. We’re a stone’s throw from the Phillips Gallery, home to some of the most beautiful Impressionist art in the world – on weekends they sometimes have live instrumental music concerts which provide families with a wonderful way to introduce both art and music to children. Our home is located very close to a number of day-care centers, schools and public parks which we look forward to introducing to a child. There’s a wonderful children’s museum in our city as well.
Our Philosophy on Parenting
As we raise a child, we plan to show sensitivity in talking with a child about her/his adoption story, taking into account the child’s temperament and developmental level. We plan to make adoption an everyday word and concept in our home. We will make sure our child has experiences with other kids who joined their families through adoption & we will provide opportunities for a child to be open about the shared experience of adoption with those children. We also would like help a child have a warm connection with you, depending upon what is comfortable for you, as well as having a positive and respectful view of you their birth parents & family.
Both of us were raised in the Protestant church. We will encourage our child to develop a healthy spirituality that she or he can use to provide strength & comfort during difficult times. We also hope that having faith and a connection with community will help them understand the importance of community as well as emphasize the values of being good to others and doing good in the world. We both believe in God, DJ’s grandfather was a Presbyterian minister. We do not attend church regularly but have attended services at both a Presbyterian church and a Quaker church near our apartment.
We have already received so much joy from our experiences with children including our nieces & nephews, the young children of close friends. We plan to make sure that the days of a child placed with us are filled with laughter, daily bed-time stories and sharing dinner together as a family every day. DJ looks forward to helping a child with homework and school projects as he comes from a family of teachers. We will raise our child to appreciate the importance of education and doing their personal best. Michael is still connected with the young adult daughter of a former boyfriend. She visits with us at least once a year throughout high school and now college. Recently Mike helped her compose her resume to be used for job seeking.
It is in large part because of our experiences with children that we decided to become parents ourselves. Even from a young age, as the oldest of three siblings, DJ has dreamed of being a father & giving a child the love and support that he received from his parents. Mike came to know parenting when co-parenting the daughter of his former partner (with whom he is still close) and is excited about getting having that experience again, remembering all of the joy and meaningful experiences that brought to his life.
We plan to nurture & embrace the individual potential of a child, whether that is in the areas of athletics, arts, academic subjects for which they have a passion or all of the above. We value tolerance and respect, and will teach those values to a child. We plan to share our interests with their child, such as music, photography, nature and volunteering to help others in the community. And to also provide an atmosphere for a child to know and to develop the skills they might need to pursue their interests and dreams.
One of our favorite memories is reading a book to our friend Cyndi & Van’s young son, which used the phrase, “No more, no more, no more.” This phrase reminded DJ of the song, “Hit the Road Jack,” so DJ began singing the song to the young boy, who kept saying, “sing it again!” until DJ, Mike, Cyndi & Van and their young son were all dancing around the kitchen and singing along to a version of the song by Stevie Wonder which DJ played on his smart phone. Now each time we see Cyndi & Van’s son, he asks us to sing the song with him! We are so excited about having these kinds of fun and loving moments with our future daughter or son.
We thank you again for taking the time to read through our profile. And no matter what your decision, we wish you well as you make this difficult decision. We know you are focused on choosing the best possible family for your child.
Please call Full Circle Adoptions at 1-800-452-3678 if you would like to learn more about us or speak with us. We would be happy to answer any questions to help you get to know us better.
Sincerely,