Dear Mom and Dad,
Thank you so much for considering our family as a possible family for your children. We were asked by our adoption professionals if we were open to twins and we said absolutely. We have been told that you would like to consider placing your sons with a two dad family and we would be delighted to be considered. We can’t imagine your emotions, or how you feel, but we hope you have the support of family and friends as you consider the possibility of an adoption plan. We know you love your sons and you want a safe and loving home for them. We would be honored to be that home.
We are Briggs and Jorge and we have been together in a committed relationship for almost six years. We were married in Maryland last year when it became legal. Briggs is a doctor and Jorge is finishing business school. We live in Arlington, Virginia, just across the river from Washington, DC. We have the good fortune to have the resources to adjust our work lives to accommodate the needs of our children – being parents has been something we have both wanted for a long time and we are very ready to be devoted dads. When a child joins our family, Briggs will be at home full time with our children for the first four months. He looks forward to working part-time after that which will provide a lot of flexibility to be an at-home dad. Jorge is looking forward to being an active father and will have a lot of flexibility as he will be finished with school this April. Also, Jorge’s mom has committed to staying with us for six months to help and also share her wonderful cooking. In general, Briggs works only four days a week and, so, three days a week, he can be home full time. But, if we are blessed with twins, he plans to scale back further so that our children have the benefit of an at-home parent. In addition to the both of us, we also plan to have in-home child care so that our children will have rested parents and loving personal attention at all times. We are excited about both the challenges and joys of twins.
Briggs comes from a small southern family and Jorge was born in Brazil and has a much larger family. Jorge has almost twenty aunts and uncles and dozens of cousins and nieces and nephews and we get to spend wonderful family time with them. Family is very important to both of us. Even though we don’t have children yet, most Sundays are family dinner night at our house. We share a yummy meal and lively conversation with our aunt and cousins, together with friends we have known for many years. Briggs likes to cook and coconut cake and cornbread are his specialties. It’s a special time to catch up and stay connected.
We both love children and knew from the beginning we wanted to be dads and have a family together, in addition to having wonderful times with our extended family. Last winter we went to Disneyworld with Jorge’s sister, her husband, and our two nephews. It was great! This year we all went to Brazil and took the kids to a water park and the beach. We would love to share times like this with both our children and their cousins. The children we adopt will be enthusiastically welcomed by both of our families and they will have lots of playmates. Along the way, in addition to learning English, they would have the opportunity to learn to speak Portuguese (the language in Brazil) and Spanish as Jorge speaks both. We would be dedicated to helping your sons have a strong and proud sense of both their African American and Latino heritage—we know how important identity is and we would work hard to give them a sense of self-confidence that they can fulfill their dreams.
On the surface, one might note the differences in our ages and heritage. We also grew up in quite different economic backgrounds. But, what we experience as a couple are the similarities between us. We both love spending time with each other and with our extended family. When Jorge’s mother comes to visit for a couple of months at a time, Briggs is just as happy to see her as Jorge is. While we both love the outdoors, spending time working on the yard together is just as warm and cozy for each of us. Briggs has observed a quality in couples securely in love – when one enters a room where the other is, there’s an immediate smile. We both experience this with each other. We also find a special maturity in each other – neither of us gets rattled by the small stuff in life.
The similarities between us mean that we make decisions easily. When one of us mentions something that might be needed for the house, the other has already made arrangements to take care of it. We listen carefully to each other and we each support the growth and happiness of the other. We know the difference between relationships where there are ‘issues’ and one where the partners have an ease with each other that makes addressing the large and small matters of life an aspect of warm togetherness. When we were thinking about how to describe our relationship, Briggs said, “Sometimes when you have found the right relationship, you realize what you didn’t have before and didn’t know to look for.” We both feel this way and feel blessed to have found each other.
Our home is on a quiet family friendly street with a park at the end. There is an excellent elementary school just a short walk away. Our yard is big and has a fence to keep children safe; our children can also safely play in the woods and ride their bikes in our residential neighborhood. We have a dog who loves people, especially little kids. She is a greyhound and her name is Kitty. She would make a great companion for our little boys’ adventures. We both like to stay active. Briggs belongs to a hiking club and Jorge plays in a volleyball league in the winter. We both love the water so in summer we like to go to the beach in Delaware and sometimes the Cape. The boys would learn to swim at an early age so they could play at the beach and swim in the pool with their dads.
We celebrate Christmas and Easter with family and friends and can’t wait to bring our children into the fun and joyous family celebrations.
As parents, we would be “firm but fair.” We know children need love and support, but they need guidance as well. Our job is to help them learn right from wrong and to find their personal truth. We want them to make the best possible choices in life so they become strong, honest, healthy adults. We will raise them with honesty about their adoption so that they can feel proud and appreciative of that aspect of their lives. We are happy as a couple, confident in ourselves and we have the patience and love to make this happen. We also have the support of our parents and our brothers and sisters and they are eager to help us.
Education has been so important for both of us and we have sufficient resources, now, to pay for college or vocational educations for the twins when they grow up. We will honor whatever their work and career choices are and provide the support they need so that they can pursue their dreams without having to worry about supporting themselves at the same time. We want them to feel free to obtain the skills and opportunities to have a fulfilling and rewarding life.
We would welcome the opportunity for you to know us better and to have an ongoing open adoption with you. We would be honored to have in-person visits, send you photo/letter and video updates about how the boys are doing and would welcome opportunities for phone, Skype or other video conferencing if this is something you would like as well. We would welcome learning what would be meaningful for you. If you have other children, we would support your wishes to have the children know each other growing up, if this is something you would like. In short, we welcome you to our family.
Thanks again for considering us. We would be delighted to meet you to help you see if we might be a good choice as parents for your sons.