Dear Birthmother,
Hello, our names are Chris and Jennifer. Thank you for giving us a chance to tell you about ourselves and why we would love to adopt a child. We realize that this may be one of most difficult times of your life. Please know that we appreciate how much courage it has taken for you to arrive at this caring decision for your baby and that we would always cherish the trust that you would be placing in us. If you choose us as your child’s adoptive family, you would be making us the happiest couple in the world. We’ll do our best to describe ourselves to you so that you may get to know us better–what we are like as people and what we believe in and care about.
We have been told by our doctors that there would be no possibility of our ever having children together. Although coming to grips with the reality of our doctors’ news has been intensely disappointing and sorrowful, we also see an opportunity to reflect on what is most important to us. We realized that we long to share our joy and love that we have for each other with a child that we will raise together. I (Chris) have two beautiful children, Jason and Tina, from my prior marriage. Jason and Tina have begun their own lives as young adults and are out on their own. Unfortunately, Jennifer has never had children, and the reality that she and I (Chris) cannot naturally conceive a child pains us both. Jennifer has never experienced the joy of raising and nurturing a child from birth – an experience that I (Chris) have cherished in my lifetime and hope to share with Jennifer for her first time together. We are extremely hopeful and enthusiastic about the possibility of extending our family through adoption.
Jennifer and I (Chris) met while on a ski trip in the beautiful setting of the White Mountains of New Hampshire where I was on vacation with my coworkers. I happened to strike up a conversation with Jennifer. Sensitive to my accent, Jennifer asked me if I was from Canada. In fact, I had been born and raised in Canada. I soon found out that her Dad was from Canada and her brother was born there as well. We discovered that, in addition to Canada, we had all kinds of common interests; with skiing being the one I loved most. It was obvious that we hit it off immediately. People had always told me “You will know when you’re in love”. Nothing could be more true. I was smitten; upon meeting her just once, I knew she was a special girl. Over the course of the next year, I would drop a post card to Jennifer with a few zany lines on it whenever I traveled for business and we would exchange many letters.
After that first year of exchanging bits and pieces of our lives, I (Jennifer) took the initiative and gave Chris a call. After speaking with each other daily, we decided to rendezvous at the same mountain one year from the day that we had first met. It was the combination of Chris’ terrific sense of humor, boyishness, and sincerity that first captured my heart. Concerned for my friend who was attempting to ski for the first time, Chris performed a handstand on skis to distract her from her frustration. By the end of that weekend, we had fallen head over heals in love.
Overcoming long distance and at times treacherous weather conditions, we traveled back and forth to see each other. After several years of, as Chris describes it, “planes, trains and automobiles” and a deepening commitment to each other, Chris proposed to me. Saying yes was the easy part! We had lots of difficult logistics to work out…which one of us would move, how would we go about getting a work permit and how long would the process take. When Chris decided to leave his life in Canada and begin a new life and family with me in the US, it was a tremendous sacrifice on his part. I believe that our relationship history is testament to our dedication and endurance as a couple and future parents. We have proven our abilities to sacrifice things that have been so important to us, and to adapt our lives in an effort to remain happy and together. We long for the opportunity to extend these qualities to our family in the future.
(Chris) Jennifer is and always has been my companion–the one who has always been there for me each and every day. She is soft spoken, bright eyed, warm, loving and open to all of life and its possibilities. She accepts what can’t be changed and is devoted enough to turn what is not, into what could be. My children, Jason and Tina, both adore her, as did my dear and departed mother. Jennifer is also well-loved and cherished by all of her friends and family. She has brought to my life a new way of seeing things and adapting to them. We draw strength from each other, and feel that there is nothing that we cannot accomplish together.
For me (Jennifer), Chris has so many qualities that I believe are important in a husband and dad. He is honest, trustworthy and loyal. He is passionate about the people he loves and the things he deems important. A tear still comes to his eyes when he tells the story of our first meeting or the births of his children. It has always been easy for me to communicate with Chris. His children feel the same way, as they are in regular contact with him about all decisions, thoughts and feelings. He is a good listener and offers valuable insight. He is also a man of incredible compassion. It is touching to see Chris seek out the company of my elderly uncle whose memory and hearing are failing. Chris never fails to engage him in conversation and bring a smile to his lips. These are shining qualities that have brought fullness and joy to our marriage, and qualities that I look forward to teaching and sharing with a child.
Chris has the unique quality of making people feel comfortable, and invites conversation with almost anyone who crosses his path. He is warm and affectionate. Our youngest nephew, two-year old Devon, has a particularly special relationship with Chris. Although Devon has fun when playing with the rest of us, he laughs uncontrollably when entertained by Chris’ funny antics. We wonder who is really the younger of the two…Chris or our nephew! My cousin’s son knocks on our door to ask if Chris can come out to play! These are just a few of the many examples of Chris’ gift of being able to communicate with people young and old alike. It is virtually impossible not to enjoy his humorous personality. I can recall many occasions when Chris’ stories and jokes have brought tears of laughter to us. He is my best friend.
I (Jennifer) am currently a contract negotiator at a telecommunications company. I find it challenging and rewarding to work out solutions to difficult problems so that both sides are happy and satisfied. I chose a career that would allow me to use my Japanese language skills as well as one that would allow me flexibility when a child joins our family. Although I no longer travel for work, my job often took me to Asia Pacific where I had the opportunity to learn about all kinds of cultures.
I (Chris ) currently work for a Bio-Pharmaceutical company. This is a rewarding job with lots of opportunity in research and development of new technology in the frontiers of medicine and health. I love my job and the people I meet and interface with every day, and look forward to each and every new opportunity as it may aid in the next cure to a dreadful disease. I hope to convey that I am a genuinely thoughtful and compassionate person, and that these qualities are evident in all facets of my life and personality, from my professional life and continuing through my personal and family life.
Although we both enjoy our work very much, nothing is more important to us than spending time with each other, our family and our friends. In the summer, we hike and camp with Jennifer’s brother and family in the mountains and vacation together on the beautiful shores of Cape Cod. We surround and occupy ourselves with people and activities that will lend a well-rounded, warm, and exciting atmosphere for a child. Each year, I (Jennifer) visit my aunt and uncle at their summer camp on an island in Lake Huron, Ontario Canada. Some of my fondest and most vivid childhood memories are of my brother and I sharing fun-filled vacations at the island with our cousins. I look forward to watching my own son or daughter develop similar memories in his/her childhood.
It is also very important to us to visit and stay in touch with Chris’ family and friends in Canada. We travel to see Chris’ children several times a year. In addition, each year, we celebrate the anniversary of our first meeting by getting together in New Hampshire with the friends who accompanied Chris to ski. We also enjoy what has now become a tradition of gathering with our friends and their children over the New Year’s holiday to ski. We enjoy giving our friends’ children pointers on how to ski and marvel at how quickly and effortlessly they catch on. We especially look forward to the day when we can share with our beloved child the joy of skiing and the beauty of the mountains, and truly appreciate the ways that our influence, interests and qualities are accepted by, and reflected in, our child.
To tell you a little bit about the place we hope your child will grow up, we live in a historic coastal town outside the city of Boston. Our home is located on a close and quiet cul-de-sac, and we have surrounded ourselves with caring neighbors whom I (Jennifer) have known since childhood. My cousin and her family live just doors down. Within a short walking distance from our home is a large park that includes several ocean-side beaches, an Olympic-size swimming pool, a playground and a little-league baseball field. We enjoy taking walks around the park, no matter what time of the year. Jennifer has fond memories of her dad and brother teaching her to ice skate, sled and cross-country ski at this same park – traditions we would like to continue. It is a wonderful neighborhood in which to raise a child. We just recently completed landscaping our yard, doing most of the work ourselves, which involved laying a brick patio and planting perennial and vegetable gardens. We think of it as our own little paradise, which we can now share with our friends and family.
We are confident that we can raise a child according to the positive values that influenced and shaped us in our lives. We certainly hope to have the close, special bond as our parents and role models have had with us. We think it is important for a child to receive a religious background and fully support a child making his or her own choices regarding religion as the child matures into adulthood.
We know that there will not be one day that passes in which you will not be thinking of your child. Please be assured that if you choose us as your adoptive child’s family, we would love and cherish your child each and every day. We would support your child one hundred percent in every way possible and encourage him or her to follow any aspirations, whatever they may be.
We can only begin to understand how difficult of a decision that this is for you. We too are putting a life-changing decision, to take on an additional member of the family, in the hands of someone else. We understand all too well that sometimes the optimism of a brighter future seems to be out of reach during such stressful present situations – as you know, the adoption process is at times a grueling one.
We want to express to you how much of a blessing it would be to take you child in as our own. Also, we would like to remain respectful to the reasons why we have the child and the bearer of that gift. We would be happy to send you regular updates and photos, if that is your wish. Your child will always know that your decision was made with strength and devotion. We promise to celebrate your child and his/her birth in an open, honest and respectful manner.
Thank you for your consideration. Because it is difficult to convey in one letter who we are and the depth of our desire to welcome a child into our lives, please do not hesitate to contact us so that you can get to know us a little better.
Our Best To You,
20 November