Dear Expectant Parent(s),
We are Mary Ellen and Tom. We want to start by thanking you for choosing to review our profile. We cannot possibly understand what this time must be like for you. It is difficult for us to put into words the deep gratitude we feel that you are considering an adoption plan. It is impossible for us to imagine the gravity of your decision and we would not pretend to try. What we can do however, is show you who we are, how much love we have to give, and convey how incredibly honored we would feel to be considered as adoptive parents for your child. We hope that reading our profile might bring you some peace and comfort by showing you how much love would await your child – not just from us as adoptive parents – but from our entire family and network of friends. We have been waiting to be parents for many years now and we know that we are meant to be parents. Thank you again for your strength and courage, and for considering us. We cannot wait to begin what we feel is the most important journey in life – parenthood.
We first met on stage in a club in Allston, Massachusetts. We are musicians (Mary Ellen is a singer and Tom plays bass guitar) and that first evening’s performance together was the beginning of many years as both band-mates and close friends. Music drew us together and it continues to be a strong thread in the fabric of our lives together. We have been married since 2011 but we met 14 years earlier. During our early years as friends, we watched each other in different relationships – feeling uneasy and never accepting of each other’s partners. It took us a while to realize that we were actually in love (DUH!) and once we did, we never turned back! Those years performing together in a band as a couple were some of the happiest of our lives. Our band-mates are some of our dearest friends and music is a part of who we are. We even performed during our own wedding reception! It was a spectacular event and there was no way that we would let it go by without sharing the stage on such an important day for us…..after all, the stage was where it all began. Both of us agree that our years of friendship helped to build the strong foundation of our marriage and we are sure they will continue to carry us through whatever life has in store for us. We are truly partners.
Because we were friends for many years first, this meant that we married a bit later in life. We are both originally from Massachusetts and we chose to buy a family home in Mary Ellen’s hometown. Those first few years we spent making the house our own and just enjoyed being married. We tried unsuccessfully to start a family and realized quickly that our age was a factor. Together we grieved the loss of that possibility. However, adoption was a very familiar option for us so it was not difficult to take it into our hearts. Mary Ellen’s cousins were adopted as siblings, another cousin adopted her daughter (now 13) and her niece and nephew were adopted (now 19 and 21). In fact, Mary Ellen was their nanny for the first two years after they were adopted as toddlers and to this day has a very close and special relationship with them. We both love children and are always drawn to them. Our roles as aunt and uncle are very important to us and we are very involved in all of our nieces and nephews lives. We have spent a lot of time with our friends’ children as well and it is not uncommon to see all the “adults” talking amongst themselves, while we are off somewhere playing with all the kids.
Besides music, we enjoy spending time taking care of our home and being involved in our community. One of our biggest strengths as a couple is our sense of humor. No matter how difficult things may get, we are still able to find ways to make each other laugh. Our home has a large backyard and we live within walking distance of a wonderful school (the one that Mary Ellen attended as a child). We love to travel and see new places – both near and far – and feel it is important to learn about other places and cultures and to be open to trying new things. A sense of connection to the community is important to us and ours is a wonderful one in which to raise a family. We enjoy spending time with family and friends and almost all of our extended family members live nearby. They are overjoyed for us and we will have a very strong support network as we become adoptive parents. Since many of our family and friends have older children now, we are sure that this child will be the object of so much love….not to mention the deep pool of babysitters and experienced older cousins he or she will have to depend on! It is comforting to know that our child will be raised among family, sharing holiday traditions and special occasions surrounded by love. We are very fortunate to have such a loving family.
I would like to share a few things with you about Mary Ellen. For one, she is the most caring and supportive person I have ever met. Having been friends with her for a period of time before we were married, the main thread has always been her love of children. From her days as at the Perkins School for the Blind caring for children with disabilities and later as an Occupational Therapist, to putting that career on hold to care for her newly adopted niece and nephew, her love of children has always been strong. Often at parties or family gatherings she can be found somewhere playing with the kids instead of hanging out with the adults – therefore the reason she is often referred to as the favorite aunt. With Mary Ellen it’s never just about playing (although that is a huge part!) – it’s also about the learning. What she can learn from them as much as what they can learn from her. I’ve never seen her so happy as to be on her hands and knees fully involved in the time she is spending with a child. In addition to making a wonderful mother, she is also an amazing and loving wife. The last few years have been difficult for me, as I’ve been supporting my aging parents. Mary Ellen has been with me every step of the way, helping me as well as helping them, making that time a lot less stressful. For that alone, I couldn’t love her more. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I can’t imagine taking these next steps into parenthood without her. Together I know we will make fantastic parents, giving a child a loving and caring home and future.
Simply put, Tom is the kindest person I have ever met. Although he tends to be quiet and more introverted in larger groups, he is also one of the funniest people I know. He has a unique ability to notice that person in the room who might need a bit of extra attention and that is where he will gravitate. He thinks of others – sometimes even more than himself – and I know that his friends would agree that he would do just about anything for someone he cares about. Tom has a great passion for playing bass and music in general and it is a big part of who he is. He makes me laugh. He is the kind of person who takes my mother to Mass so she does not have to go alone. He is the kind of person who will do something nice for someone and not take credit for it. To him, as long as it helped that person, that is enough for him. His motto is “be nicer than you have to be.” He is devoted to his family and has done everything to support his parents during recent periods of poor health. Tom is a hard worker and respected by everyone in his company as someone who can not only get the job done, but who knows how to treat people with respect, fairness, and a sense of humor. I am the outgoing one – the one who tends to be more vocal in large groups (maybe sometimes hogging all the attention!)….we balance each other beautifully and he is my calm and my rock. Because of his sense of humor and innate kindness, children gravitate to him….especially all of our nieces and nephews. I have watched it happen and it always fills my heart. There are so many things to love about Tom and of this I am certain: he will make the most wonderful Dad. The reason I feel so ready to begin this journey is because I will have him by my side. I cannot wait to watch him become the Dad he was always destined to be.
We hope to welcome a child into our lives with infinite love, support, and guidance. We know that the journey will not always be easy….but we will be there every step of the way; through bumps and scrapes, to first days of school, to joys and triumphs and disappointments and heartbreak. We want it all – the joy and the tears. We hope to provide every opportunity for our child to grow, flourish, and experience the world. We want to teach our child how to be good person, a good citizen, a life-long learner, and a loving family member and friend. We live in a lovely and vibrant suburban community – the one where Mary Ellen was born and raised. Her mother lives two streets away as well as her aunt and uncle. Cousins and Tom’s family are all nearby also, in addition to friends and their children. Your child would be part of a loving community of people. Even our neighbors and postal carrier are excited about our adoption plan! We promise to be open and honest regarding their story, starting from the very beginning. We want our child to know about their birthparents and be aware of their history. We plan to respect openness and communication so that our child knows how loved they truly are. We hope to provide every opportunity possible for education and higher learning if that is their wish. Most of all, we hope to offer a child our hearts and all the love we have to give.
We can imagine that it’s challenging to get a sense of who we are just by reading this profile. We can only hope that this paints a picture of us as a couple and the parents we hope to be. We want you to know that whatever your ultimate decision is, we wish you peace and we will always keep you in our hearts. We would be honored to be chosen and promise to always treasure your child. We would respect whatever level of contact you would choose to have and want you to be assured that we would always honor your role in your child’s life. We pledge to love, honor and cherish your child and do our very best to help him or her become the best person they can be by supporting who they are – not who we want them to be. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for reading and considering our profile and please know that we will forever be grateful for your courage.