Dear Expectant Parent(s),
We are Ross and Sarah and we have known each other since high school. We still remember the first time that we drove home together from a school outing –
The two of us were rocking out to the radio, and then when we pulled into the driveway, Ross tripped over himself to get out and around the car in time to open the door for Sarah and asked if she would go on a date.
Here we are 15 years later. There isn’t much that the two of us have not shared or supported each other through – between high school, college, independent travel abroad, starting companies & seeing the world together. Now we are ready to build a family.
There are countless things that I love and admire about Ross. While our core values, goals, and ambitions are very similar, we have very different personalities. These are some of the things that I love most:
Creativity – Being high school students with no money, when we first started dating, Ross and I agreed to make our Christmas gifts for each other. We continue to exchange handmade presents to this day. One of the most frequent gifts I receive are original stories. Over the years Ross has written many tales for me: from short children’s stories, mini adventure books, and even an entire account of our relationship. Once, when I was getting ready to travel for six months without him, he recorded a CD of stories so I could listen to him even though we were continents apart.
Ross’ ability to embrace his child–like imaginative spirit is one reason that makes me proud to raise a family with him. When I think about our future family, I am excited for the imaginative lands, creatures, and tales Ross will craft for our children.
Playfulness – When our nephew was little, his favorite question was “Where’s Ross?” At family gatherings, then 23-year-old Ross and 5-year-old Justin would turn off all the lights in the basement and run around pretending to hunt for aliens. This typically lasted for an hour before Ross’ tired and beaten body would wearily climb the stairs with Justin dangling on his back. I’m excited to see the games that Ross and our future children will create together and the adventures they will go on from our living room.
Continuous Self-improvement – Ross is constantly embarking on ways to be a better man, son, partner, brother, boss. From physical health and fitness to business, general knowledge, or hobbies, I don’t know many people with the self-assurance to honestly evaluate themselves, find “shortcomings” and seek out means of making themselves a better person. While at times this can be a bit frustrating (as I would rather stay in bed and eat waffles than go to the gym in a snow storm), 95% of the time I can’t help but admire the relentless way he pursues growth. Regardless of how much or little we know about being first-time parents – I am convinced that Ross will be the best father. Not a day will go by where he will not continuously strive to be a better dad than he was the day before.
Perpetual Teacher – Ross loves to explain how he’s done something and share what he has recently learned. It doesn’t matter how small and trivial or large and complex it is. I know Ross will eagerly teach our children – from setting up camping tents and making pancakes to building a Lego spaceship, or even speaking a foreign language.
I’ve spent almost half of my life with Sarah. Over this time, we’ve shared many peaks and valleys, but one thing has remained the same: when you ask me who I’d want to spend my time with, who I’d want by my side, it’s her. That’s not to say it’s been easy. We both have strong personalities and passions, but it’s led to some amazing experiences together. Thinking about all of the qualities that I admire in her, there are always four that jump to the top of my mind:
An Adventurous Spirit – I still vividly remember sitting across from Sarah on our second date asking about her hobbies. I sat in awe listening to her tell me about her passion for scuba-diving, an activity that she started when she was only 12-years-old. Since then, she’s gone on to scuba dive around the world, including spending a month in a Bedouin camp on the Sinai Peninsula in Egypt, diving in the Red Sea. These kinds of adventures are undeniably Sarah and one of the reasons that I keep falling in love with her. She’s always been the inspiration and driver behind the adventures that we’ve had as a couple, such as: a month-long trip living on the beach as we traveled around the Hawaiian islands, a 6-week backpacking trip through North Africa and Europe, and a 14-month adventure of a lifetime as we traveled around the country on our motorcycles together. Her adventurous spirit and spontaneity has been central to so many amazing experiences that we’ve shared.
A Passionate Viewpoint – Sarah has always held passionate viewpoints and a strong set of values. When you’ve become close to her, she’s not afraid to share either of these with you. She’s also not afraid to hold you accountable to the values that you’ve set for yourself. Our first summer dating was full of late-night debates on the practical applications of an Ayn Rand world, philosophical viewpoints of Buddhism, and the beauty of impressionist art. She’s exposed me to so many things throughout our relationship and has always pushed me to hold a meaningful opinion, even if it differed from hers. She’s informed but also eager to gain new perspectives from other people that have a passion for the topic at hand. I often get excited to see her take a stance in a conversation and bring her passion to the table.
A Focus on Family – Sarah has very close relationships with her family members. Her sister, easily her best friend, is someone that we go to first when it comes to making plans for the weekend or looking for someone to hang out with. She attends the sports games of her nieces and nephews, and she has been an important mentor to them. We have weekly dinners and daily text exchanges with her parents. Birthdays and holidays are treated with wonder and reverence. Whether making Christmas roping by hand to hang from her father’s home or helping with her mother’s enormous Italian dinners at every family event, everything is done together and with passion.
A Selfless Caregiver – Having been together as long as we have, we were bound to face some major difficulties in life. During our relationship, Sarah has gone through the deaths of her grandmother and her uncle, both of whom she was very close to. In both situations, Sarah spent considerable amounts of time by their side at the end of their lives. Having been an EMT in high school, Sarah has an incredible comfort level with these situations and other health-related issues. She helped her 90–year–old grandfather with rehab after a major knee surgery and was by her other grandmother’s side every day in the hospital throughout her battle with cancer. Her ability to take care of others amazes me and gives me confidence about what a fantastic mother she’ll be.
Being partial owners & partners in our respective companies, we have a lot of flexibility when it comes to our careers. We both work from home nearly 90% of the time. Ross goes into the Boston office about once a week and Sarah meets with her partners twice a month at a local office just walking distance from our home.
This means that we both will be able to take time off from work to be with our adopted child. It also means we both will always be home to see our child on and off the school bus, help them start their homework, take care of them when they stay home sick, and play with them on the occasional snow day.
In addition, both of our families live within 15–minutes of our home, so extra care is only a phone call and a short drive away.
Family is extremely important to us and we spend a large portion of our time with parents, siblings, and many cousins who are as close to us as our brothers or sisters.
All of our family members are very excited for us to adopt. Since the moment we moved in together, Ross’ mother has been waiting for us to become parents, not so discreetly mentioning how our guest room could be a nursery.
Ross’s father has taught many of the kids and grandkids in the family a love and appreciation for all things outdoor. He will be thrilled to teach our child how to plant corn, rake the yard, and make the perfect pile of compost.
Sarah’s mom and stepdad are currently grandparents to her siblings’ four children. Her stepdad goes to every single sporting event and being a carpenter, enjoys teaching the grandchildren how to hammer nails into boards and build things. Her mom has special date nights with all of the grandchildren, sharing activities related to their special interests.
The third set of grandparents to our future children are Sarah’s dad and his long-term partner, who both love tradition and celebration, which means that every accomplishment and event turns into a reason to celebrate. For example – they love celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. He dyes all the food green and leaves “leprechaun trails” (aka green and gold glitter) all over the house. The fact that all of us are over the age of 30 has not stopped this. They are very excited to have a grandchild who will believe in the magic behind all that they do.
Between all the parents, siblings, and cousins we’re fairly certain that no one is as enthused as our nine-year-old niece. She is excited to no longer be the youngest child in the family, and loves babies and little children. She is already planning babysitting games and practices carrying her baby dolls around in old car seats.
As we look back over the past 15 years we cannot really pinpoint the specific moment when we decided that adoption would be the path for us to build a family, but it’s something we’ve known for a very long time. The families that both of us grew up in were full of people that were there not just because of genetics, but because they loved us, wanted to share our lives, and supported us. They were adopted cousins, half-siblings, stepparents and family friends, all of whom showed up when we needed them most. Because of this Sarah has known she wanted to adopt for as long as she can remember. While children are not something we discussed when we first started dating in high school, somewhere along the way Ross also enthusiastically jumped on onboard. We’re excited to build our family together and couldn’t picture doing it any other way!
We would like to thank you for considering us as adoptive parents to your child. We can only imagine the emotions flowing through you as you read this letter. You are facing one of the biggest decisions of your life, which must take a lot of courage and selflessness. We both believe it is important that people know where they come from. To that degree, we are interested in an open adoption, if you are comfortable with that, and we will be flexible to make a plan that works for you.
If distance and space is what you need, we’re happy to provide it. If you want a closer relationship with shared photos, letters, and in-person meetings, we will be happy to do this as well. Most importantly, we will always be as honest as possible.
Please call Full Circle Adoptions at 1-800-452-3678 if you would like to learn more about us or speak with us.