Introduction

Dear Birthmother,

Thank you for reading a little bit about me, my family, and my dream to adopt a child.  I know that, with the thoughtfulness and love you already have for your child, you’ll find the right match for both of you in time.  Imagining the choices you are now making is humbling to me.  Please know I hope for the very best for you, your family, and your baby.

About Me & My Family

My son, who is now 5 ½ (and a proud kindergartener) was adopted as a newborn.  I hope to adopt another child to “grow” our current family and add to the joy my son and I have already built together.  I was raised in a large, closely-knit family.  With two sisters and two brothers (I’m the second from oldest), I crave the action-packed life of a large family and the way brothers and sisters share their childhoods.  I value the relationships I have with my siblings so much, and I hope to give my son the experience of being a “big brother” some day.  To be honest, it’s a family affair:   My whole family (my parents, sisters, brothers and all of their kids) are so excited to welcome another child into the family!

I have surrounded myself with children my whole adult life and I always dreamed of being a mother.  Making the decision to become a single parent was more complicated.  I needed to be sure I would have the emotional and financial resources for single parenting—and for doing it well.  My professional work involves helping families and children with disabilities. It is tremendously satisfying to help children to help them feel as though they can be more in control of their own lives. I am lucky enough to be self-employed and well respected in my field. Being my own boss allows me to create a flexible work schedule, and I can increase and decrease my work hours or re-arrange my hours as needed to meet family needs. My office is at home, so when I am working there, I can spend time with my children during the day.

I have also been blessed with a wonderful nanny, who has been with me for the past 3 years (and is excited about helping with a new baby!).   She loves my son and is such a loving and nurturing part of his life.  It is a comfort to know that I have someone I already know and trust to help with childcare as I add a new baby to the mix!   I know from experience with my son that I can comfortably juggle work and family life—and have so much fun doing it.  I have never been happier than I am as a Mom.

My Home

My parents still live in the house I grew up in on Long Island, and one of my sisters lives a few minutes away with her family.   I chose my home to be close to them—we are just a ferry-ride away and are able to visit regularly.  My other brothers and sister live further away but also visit regularly.   It is important to all of us that all of our children spend time with their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins so that everyone feels part of one large family.  Every Christmas we all pile into those two houses on Long Island for a full week of family time, and we squeeze into a beach house for a full week of swimming, campfires and family stories every summer.  Our family life is full of laughter—we are all jokers, storytellers, and full of life.  My parents are the center of all this and really enjoy their grandchildren to the fullest—they are one of my son’s biggest fans and are thrilled to think that another child will join the family soon.

Another benefit of such close family ties is that my son has men and boys he loves and respects that he can look to as role models.  I try to pay close attention to what he needs for the best social development and self image as a growing boy, and look for opportunities to be sure he knows who he is through more than just my eyes as a mother.

My Openness

We are eager to welcome a child of any race or heritage in our family. I understand the work and responsibility of helping to give a child a very positive sense of their heritage and identity from infancy onward. I will give him or her the most positive self image he or she can have. We already honor different cultural traditions in our everyday family life. We have Chinese and Native American heritage in our family and warmly welcome a child of African American, Asian, Hispanic or other cultures and ethnicities in our family. My extended family and Michael and I, both, are comfortable and dedicated to welcoming and loving a child of any heritage into our family.

Our home is a pretty 3 bedroom house on a large lot. We have fields and woods, a barn and even a few beloved chickens and a chicken coop.  Nature and outside exploring were a big part of my childhood, and my son enjoys the freedom and safety that our neighborhood allows.  There are young children in 4 of the closest houses, and my son has his own set of neighborhood friends in addition to school friends.  I grew up in a neighborhood a lot like this one and really learned the fun of making forts, swinging on swing sets, and generally finding fun in other children and the world outside.  The setting also gives us the chance to work together on gardening, raising chickens and other outdoor pursuits (we love to hike on miles of local trails).  We live close to lovely beaches, ponds and rivers and we love to swim, fish and kayak together.  In the colder months, we like to use the local YMCA for active play, swimming lessons, etc.

My Career

In my work, I train parents and teachers how to work with children with disabilities—to teach them to be respectful, productive and happy kids.  My role as a parent is similar.  I know that all children are open to the influences around them and I make sure I nurture my son’s emotions, intelligence and heart everyday.  I believe in firm boundaries for children’s behavior, but I also believe it is the adult’s responsibility to teach, not just control.  My family has always valued creativity and learning in children and I love to spend time with my son messing with art materials, building a castle out of  a cardboard box, or painting the bathtub with watercolors just for fun.  I love to cook and we eat at home almost every night.  This makes meals a real family event and lets us explore lots of healthy home-made choices together.  Music is another activity we like to share, I sing and play a little guitar and we listen to all kinds of music together.  I think it’s another way to know the world around us.

My Values

Education is a very strong value in our family. I have already started a fund for my children so that they can comfortably choose to attend college if they’d like to. Our family has also always had a very strong value on “service” to others. We believe in caring for each other, within our family and within our community. Faith and kindness are basics in our everyday life. I’ve seen how our family’s strengths have enabled my sisters, brothers and me to create lives filled with hope, love, accomplishment and support. And also fun. I look forward to giving these same gifts to both of my children.

Finally, let me thank you again for looking at my letter. I know the information is limited, but I hope it gives you a taste of me and my family.  I know from the experiences of my first adoption that the love that is given and received from a birth to adoptive family and back again is like nothing else in the world.  When my son talks to me about his birthmother, re-arranges her picture in his room before going to sleep, or draws her a picture, I am struck by the way we share his life.  If my family is right for you and I have the privilege of becoming an adoptive mother to your baby, I would hope for that same sense of sharing (for example, sending photos, videos, or letters back and forth).

If you wish, I welcome the chance to meet you and/or answer any questions you might have.  I wish you the best in the coming months and hope that whatever plans you make, that they are the best for you, your baby, and your family.

Sincerely,

Pat