Introduction
Dear Birthmother and Birthfather,
When my niece and nephews wrap their arms around my neck, I feel warm and cozy in my role as super-Aunty. And it reminds me of how much I want to be a mom. I am grateful to have a chance to share with you why I am looking forward to adopting. Thanks so much for considering me. You want a loving, safe and stable family for your child, and I want, more than anything, to have the chance to give a child love, opportunities, a warm connection with cousins, an aunt and uncle and grandparents to a son or daughter. Not to mention chocolate chip pancakes, rides on the swings, shopping for their favorite light-up shoes and classes in swimming, singing and down time with books. The son or daughter I’m fortunate enough to adopt will be one of the luckiest children around – I have a very blessed and unusual life — and this will mean your child will have a very active and loving mom, an amazing degree of security, and an enthusiastically loving and involved family.
I have always wanted to be a mom, and I am excited to grow my family through adoption. Before attending college and business school and before beginning a successful career in the business world, all of my jobs were with children: working in daycare centers, babysitting in the neighborhood or volunteering for children’s causes. I love spending time with children – these days with my niece and nephews – and I look forward to the days when I can read bedtime stories, play Legos, cook meals and take walks with my son or daughter.
I would love to adopt a child of any race, and it would be both my joy and responsibility to raise my child with a solid sense of their heritage. I look forward to providing my child with an appreciation for a wide spectrum of historic, cultural, musical and literary traditions. I would provide my child with the experiences and opportunities needed for them grow into a confident person with a positive personal identity. As my parents provided to me and my sister, I would help my child have a keen appreciation for their strengths as an individual. I will help my child grow up with a strong sense of self-confidence, supporting them all the way.
I grew up, with my older sister and parents, in a college town in Western Massachusetts, known for being a center of multi-cultural family building. My dad is a retired college professor and my mom is a retired college administrator. To say that education was valued in our family is an understatement. My parents taught me how important it is to be patient and encouraging when children are learning. I am grateful for the opportunities my family gave me and this generosity has meant that I am able to give these same opportunities to my children. I can’t wait to help them with their homework, attend school plays and root them on in whatever sport, dance or other activity is a passion for them.
I had the good fortune to attend both college and business school – these are opportunities for which I continue to be very grateful. My work involves providing non-profits, like colleges and hospitals, with advice about how to manage their resources. The work I do helps these organizations expand the good they can do for the communities they serve. Since I’ve been doing this for a while, I have a senior position in my firm and a lot of flexibility in my work hours; I can prioritize being a mom and I’m looking forward to this.
When the joyous moment of parenting begins, I will be home full-time for at least 6 months with my child or children. Ultimately, I hope to parent more than one child, whether as siblings or in more than one adoption. After I become a mom, I will adjust my work hours to maximize time with my child. I will be able to be at home with my son or daughter all weekend and at least one day a week – this will be time just for me and them, not working.
On regular work days, I can adjust my hours to be home earlier than most and look forward to fun late-afternoons and evenings enjoying their activities and making dinner. Separate from this, at other times, I also have the ability to flex my hours or work from home. My parents look forward to coming over for regular grandparent days. I will have a full time professional child care provider for those times when I’m at work; she will provide additional consistency, love and support in my child’s life. I feel grateful to be able to focus on being a very active parent and to be able to adjust my career accordingly. I will easily be able to attend all school events, parents’ nights and parent/teacher meetings. My parents never missed a school or sporting event for me, and I am committed to providing the same loving support for my child.
I respect the challenges you are facing and can appreciate what you are trying to provide for your child. If you choose to make an adoption plan with me and if you are comfortable staying in touch, I would consider you to be an important part of your child’s and my extended family. Please let me know the level of contact that you’d like. If you want a more closed adoption, I’ll respect your wishes. If, initially, you’d just like photo/letter updates, I’ll happily provide these and leave the door open for more contact if you’d like that later. I am open to talking with you about whatever you want – ultimately I want you to feel comfortable and pleased with your choices. Whatever your level of comfort, I will meet you there.
Family
I am utterly blessed to have a close, loving family who live close by. They are all very excited to welcome a new baby to our family. I know I will have plenty of support from all of them. My parents were overjoyed with the news that I planned to adopt, and will be involved as loving grand-parents. They are retired, in good health and live about 15 minutes away. They will be a great help to me, as they are to my sister and her children. My older sister, Becky, also lives about 15 minutes away, in a suburb just outside of Boston. She and her husband, Peter, have three children: 11 and 8 year old sons, Max and Henry, and a 6 year old daughter, Sophie. I am a very involved Auntie, so much so that my sister has pledged to be just as super an auntie, in fact, the “world’s best Auntie” to my child or children. My son or daughter will grow up with grandparents, an aunt, uncle and cousins nearby who will be a frequent part of our daily lives. I know my mom is eager to welcome my child into the kitchen to make anything from waffles to her special, delicious spaghetti sauce. Our mom sewed our dresses for us, and I know she’s open to bringing her sewing machine back to life whether my child needs a Batman Halloween outfit or a finely tailored item of clothing stores don’t usually care. Last year, she made her granddaughter a special Christmas nightgown and this was the new family heirloom. She will be happy to fulfill the dreams of a new child in the family
Growing Up
I grew up in a family-oriented community in New England. We looked forward to the Farmer’s Market on the town common every Saturday, and walked into town for ice cream cones often in the summer. The town fair arrived once a year, in May, and, as kids, this was a highlight of the year. Cotton candy and a Ferris wheel were my idea of true adventure! My sister and I were serious figure skaters when we were young, so, even if it was hot outside in the summer, we were often in the nearby skating rink, nice and cool! I was a very athletic girl, and was always in the skating rink or playing outside with my best friend who lived around the corner. I took up basketball at age 14 and this became a serious commitment for me; I went on to play in college. I loved being on a team and this also has led to lifelong friendships. Whatever activities my son or daughter expresses interest in, whether it be sports, dance, or playing a musical instrument, I will encourage and support them following their dreams. I do hope to live an active life with my child, being outdoors as much as possible, whether going for walks in our town or playing “ball” of some kind or just lying on the grass together looking at the stars. I can’t wait to see what my child is interested in and helping them name their dreams.
Traditions
Holidays are a special time for me and my family, and I’m looking forward to introducing our family traditions to my child. These include celebrating every birthday with cake, hats and singing. For Thanksgiving, we always have a big number of family and friends at our house, and hand-made place-cards drawn by the youngest child. Christmas is special, and it’s usually beautiful in New England as we have lots of snow and go sledding all the time at a hill near my parents’ house. Picking out a Christmas tree and hanging our special ornaments each year is a tradition I look forward to sharing with my child.
My sister and I have a tradition when we put the angel on top of the tree; since I’m taller than my sister, I go up on the ladder and carefully balance, using her head to steady me. She is very patient. Our family hangs little tags on each ornament with names and dates on the tags. As we bring each ornament out of the box, we ooh and aah over each one, remembering who gave them to us and remembering past holidays. I can’t wait to give my child their own ornaments to hang! We will make handmade ones too. On Christmas Eve every year, we have a family tradition of getting pizza for lunch – I can’t even remember why this started, but we’ve been doing it for at least 20 years now, and we all look forward to choosing which pizza place we’ll go to each year.
Education and Learning
During my early experiences with children, I learned that each child has some areas that come easily to them and other areas where they can use help and encouragement. I will be a patient person as well as creative in finding ways that support their individual learning style. I spend hours now reading to my nephews and niece, and helping them with homework. For my child, I will make story time a special part of our bedtime ritual, and look forward to tucking my child in every night with a good story and lots of hugs and kisses.
I have combined my passion for education and supporting my community with an interest in business; I now work at a company that, among other things, helps schools invest their money so that they can provide financial aid to students who otherwise might not be able to afford to attend the school. My company also works with other non-profits such as foundations which are able to give grants to deserving community organizations. These include museums which provide people with wonderful cultural experiences and pension funds who provide comfortable retirements for people after they stop working. I really enjoy working for a company that helps schools and communities. I have worked there for a total of 18 years, and I’ve been very fortunate to become senior enough in my company that I have stability in my work and also lots of flexibility with my hours. I have already set aside funds for my children’s, education, including college. My child will have full financial support from me for their education and will only need to focus on learning.
Travel
My Dad’s teaching career took us to live in London for two years growing up; once, right when I was born and again later when I was starting school. That year, I even got an English accent from playing with other kids and learning from English teachers (this dropped off when we returned to the US)! I’ve always loved to travel, and have been fortunate enough to be able to take some amazing trips. I am really looking forward to taking trips like these with my child when they are old enough. I will provide my child the opportunity to see other countries and experience different cultures. It will be a delight to watch them learn about the rest of the world and express curiosity about these new places. Recent trips I’ve taken include the Galapagos Islands where I got to see animals that don’t exist anywhere else, London with friends and Greece with my parents. My Godparents live in Wales, about 4 hours outside London, and I look forward to introducing my child to their extended family outside the US.
Most of my family vacations tend to be closer to home. This summer I went to Maine with some friends and, each year, my family takes a vacation to Cape Cod where we enjoy lazy days at the beach, bike rides and baseball games together. We began our adult tradition of going to the Cape together about 7 years ago and now look forward to it each summer. One fun tradition is having a clambake at home one night, and we all look forward to making a mess trying to eat our lobsters!
Volunteering
I hope to pass on to my child the joy and privilege of volunteering for important community causes. This past winter, I started coaching a girls’ basketball team in my neighborhood. In past years, I have helped out with projects to assist Make-A-Wish (program for children with serious illnesses), Special Olympics (programs for children with different abilities), the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition, Project Bread (feeding the homeless) and more recently, programs in support of Down’s Syndrome such as a “Buddy Walk” in a neighboring town. I began taking my nephews and niece with me on this walk, to help them understand that there are people for whom life isn’t easy, and to convey that we can and should do things to help them. At this walk, we see and talk with many families with a child with Down Syndrome, and it’s heartwarming to listen to their stories and to spend time with them and their children.
Home
My home is spacious and warm, and I have two quiet and friendly cats who love children. Although adopted separately, Gracie and Ollie the kitties are best friends, and I often find them curled up together in a spot of sun in the living room or family room. They are wonderful with kids, and my nephews and niece always look forward to fun time with the kitties when they visit.
I live in a racially and culturally diverse neighborhood in Boston. My neighbors are extremely friendly, and there are several playgrounds close by. I also live near the harbor water ways and downtown Boston is an easy walk to town. The two elementary schools in my neighborhood are excellent, and both are walkable from my home. I live in a single-family home surrounded by similar houses and I know my neighbors well. Most of them have young families, and there are always kids playing out back behind our houses in the grassy park we all share. It’s a very child-friendly street, and full of neighbors who help each other out. There is real small-town feel here, which I love and which my child will enjoy too.
I feel so blessed to live in a community with access to excellent schools, classmates and neighbors from many different backgrounds and to live close to friends and family. My home is close to parks, libraries and sporting events – and my family has tickets to Red Sox and Celtics games which are wonderful family events. There are many volunteer opportunities in the city, too, and I hope to participate in those with my child so that we can share some of our good fortune with others and provide help to those in our community who need it.
I feel so fortunate to be able to have the opportunity to raise a child in a warm, supportive and truly loving home. I will always be honest with my child about adoption, and it is hugely important to me that my child knows s/he is loved by many people: by you, his/her birthparent, by me and also by my whole family. I will be happy to share photos and stories in the coming years with you if you would like that. I hope this letter provides you with comfort that I can offer everything a child might need, and the most important “thing” by far is unconditional love and support. I promise to provide that every single day.
Thank you for considering me, and I hope to be part of helping you find a warm, stable, supportive and unconditionally loving home for your child.
With love,