Dear Expectant Parent(s),
As we, Jesse and David (and our son, Corey), sit here thinking about how hard it is to start this letter, we can’t help but imagine how much harder it must be for you to start reading this letter. You are making such a huge decision that will impact a number of people, possibly even us, so we want to start by thanking you for putting so much love and thought into considering placing your child for adoption. No matter what you decide to do, we know you will be making the best choice for your child, and we hope that reading our profile book will help make your decision easier for you.
Due to health concerns, we knew it was unlikely that Jesse would be able to safely carry children, so we pursued adoption instead. Corey was born in December 2019, and has been bringing us joy ever since. After two years of unsuccessfully trying to bring a sibling into our lives through surrogacy, we have realized that adoption is our best chance to complete our family. We know from experience how much we love being parents, and Corey is so ready to be a big brother!
We met June 25th, 2014, at a local rock climbing gym, a place we both frequented. Our first dates were unusual and adventurous (just like us!), including a trip to the beach with friends, a concert (with Jesse’s mom!), and of course some outdoor rock climbing. It was quickly apparent that we struck the perfect balance of supporting and pushing each other, which has allowed us to grow over the years as individuals and as a couple.
David proposed two years later on a hike with a gorgeous view of Acadia National Park. It was the month before we embarked on a cross-country trip in an RV, and Jesse’s dad joked that if we could work full time and live together in a tiny, moving home, then we could make it through all of marriage’s ups and downs. In January 2018, we were married in front of our closest friends and family on a beach, just like our first date.
We are best friends, excellent travel buddies, and fall more in love as we grow together throughout our shared lives. We cannot wait to share our love and this life with more children.
Jesse’s childhood was not always the smoothest. The challenges she overcame at a young age developed her personal strength and an instinct to fight for what is right. As we build our family together, these traits give me boundless confidence that Jesse will be a fierce advocate for our children.
Jesse brings passion, stability, and harmony to our family. She sets the pace for us and points us in the right direction. Her organizational skills are a key factor in the happiness of our family. She helps us set goals and makes sure we meet them. After we’ve reached our goals, she’s always thinking about fun games and activities we can do together as a family. While Jesse is a stay-at-home mom, she’s recently focused some of her energy on teaching friends and women in the community how to better organize their financial lives.
While Jesse brings organization, even more she brings love and joy. As a mom, I have seen Jesse’s joyful and fun-loving spirit blossom. Corey always has a silly dance partner whenever he finds himself making moves to the music we are listening to. Jesse is also a great listener. As Corey is still learning his words, Jesse patiently helps him as he learns how to say them properly.
Reading, and a love of learning are also interests and values that Jesse and I both love sharing with Corey. Most recently, Jesse has begun learning Spanish to follow a life-long interest in picking up a second language. She hopes this might allow us to expose our children to more multilingual spaces and experiences than we had growing up.
David is giving, encouraging, and inspires confidence. When we first started dating, I wasn’t happy with my career path. I saw David’s career in computer programming and voiced regret at not pursuing that path. Without missing a beat, David offered to cover my rent while I studied to change careers. He saw more potential in me than I saw in myself. He pushed me out of my comfort zone and spent hours next to me while I studied late. As a result, I launched a career that changed my life.
David approaches opportunities with confidence and believes that people can accomplish great things if given the right support, which he always provides if he is able to. I see David inspiring the same confidence in our son, Corey. David enjoys sharing his love of building things with Corey. For now, that mostly includes towers of Duplos. In future years, I imagine it will be tree houses and model rockets. I see the joy in David’s eyes as he watches Corey figure things out on his own, and he is always there to support him when a tower topples down.
As a couple, one of our greatest strengths is that we listen to each other. When one of us has an idea, we always take the other seriously. We give everyone we interact with that same respect, and look forward to being a sounding board for our children as they grow.
I consider myself so lucky to have David in my life. He expresses his love through his words and actions, always being my biggest cheerleader and an amazing father to Corey.
Like most two-year-olds, Corey has a lot of opinions! Fruits are his favorite food group, and if he could live off bananas and oranges he would. His favorite song is “Baby Shark,” but it must be sung with “Mimi” (Jesse’s mom). Corey’s favorite animal is a tie between our cat Elphie who (begrudgingly) lets him give her hugs, and Mimi’s golden retriever Tucker, who loves Corey’s hugs.
Although Corey is a very active kiddo with a lot of energy, he knows how to slow down and be gentle with the kitties and his five-month old baby cousin. During our last visit, Corey was very excited to hold her on his lap for the first time. Corey loves to help mom and dad, and is so ready to be a big brother!
We take our responsibility as parents to support the happiness, health, and development of our son and future child very seriously. In particular for Corey, this has meant constantly learning more about our roles as transracially adoptive parents. We have read books about Black/ American history, attended classes for white adoptive parents, and listened to the voices of transracial adoptees. We have prioritized where we live and what spaces Corey interacts with to make sure he’s exposed to kids and role models that look different than us, and especially those that look like him.
We live in a beautiful two-bedroom condo with a view of Boston from our balcony. Although our spacious condo has enough room for a growing family, we’re moving in the spring of 2022. Our new home will have more space where both kids can have their own bedroom and a yard to play in. As Jesse and our son both love to cook, there will be even more kitchen counter space for making family dinners together!
We live in an excellent community, and although our address will change, our town will not. David works as an associate director of software engineering, and Jesse is a stay-at-home mom. This is the perfect situation for us and means Jesse has extra time with our son and will with a future child. In the summer while David is working, Jesse and Corey attend community playgroups where Corey blows bubbles and plays in the splash park with friends. We can’t wait to bring another little one along.
We’re members of two zoos and are close to all the museums, culture, and activities Boston has to offer. Our home also places us a quick 20-minute drive away from Jesse’s parents, where they have a seasonal pool in which our kids will learn to swim and play in the water.
Massachusetts has some of the highest-ranking schools in the country. We are committed to finding the best schools for our children’s unique needs. Given the diverse student and teacher populations and strong graduation outcomes of our area, we believe our children will be happy here!
We cannot describe the amount of love that has poured in upon the arrival of our son, and will double again for a second child. Between us, all four grandparents, David’s five siblings, our friends, and especially Corey’s Godparents, our son has been surrounded by love his whole life. We are so fortunate to have so much support as parents to a young child, and we regularly get asked when we’ll be adding to our family again. Everyone is excited for a new baby to join the crew!
As Jesse’s parents live nearby, they are part of our daily lives. They’ve loved being grandparents, although Mimi sometimes needs to be reeled in from buying too many toys!
David’s parents and siblings are scattered throughout New England, so we’re able to see them often as well. We’ve gone on hikes and beach trips, visited farms to pick strawberries, and made family dinners together. David’s siblings want families of their own, so there will be many cousins for our children to play with.
We love experiencing outdoor activities with our friends, many of whom have toddlers and babies. We spend a lot of time with our son’s Godparents, Tim and Phanuelle, and their baby daughter. We are a family that believes time together, love, and support are what makes a family, and Corey knows many of our friends as his aunties and uncles.
Jesse is known for being an exceptional cook, and loves pulling in family members as sous chefs while she puts together huge meals for friends and family. We’re looking forward to more summer cookouts and birthday parties.
Our hobbies have adjusted to complement our new role as parents. Beach time is less about reading and more about building sandcastles. When we purchased a folding kayak, we made sure it was big enough to accommodate a few toddlers. Our love of board games continues, and we’re slowly introducing our toddler to the concept of boards and cards. Although we had big ambitions to travel, even with a toddler, the pandemic had other plans. We’ve still been able to visit local hiking spots and the zoo has become a regular hangout.
The whole family loves to read. Jesse often has three or four books going at once, often split between sci-fi/fantasy and educational books about parenting, social justice and antiracism, and psychology (her college major). David shares an interest in many of those topics, and lately has been diving deeply into educating himself about financial management and investing, an interest he shares with his father. Corey’s favorite book recently is Brown Bear, Brown Bear, which he can almost recite by himself!
Another shared passion of our family is food. Jesse loves to cook and constantly borrows recipe books from the library. Corey is excited to help stir ingredients, and his favorite part is licking the spoon when maple syrup is involved. We are fairly adventurous eaters, and often will go on foodie tours during our local and international travels.
Another way we want to support our children is by providing them with a good education. We will assess what options will fit best with their skills and interests, and are hoping to find a good Montessori school for them, at least part time, that will promote their creativity from a young age. We also have already started a college fund for Corey and our future child, in case that is something they want to pursue.
Education is not just about what is learned in the classroom. We will also empower our children to learn creativity, resilience, and confidence, so they can accomplish anything they put their mind to. Exposing our kids to different cultures and walks of life through spending time with diverse groups of people is something we value.
We incorporate our value of diversity in our everyday lives. Our bookshelf is full of authors of all races, genders, and backgrounds, and our cooking encompasses food originating from many geographic locations. We are committed to making sure any child joining our family knows about and is proud of their culture and community.
Although our priority will be keeping our children happy and healthy, we have both experienced how many doors are opened by a solid education, along with the ability to understand and empathize with others. Because of this, it is important to us to give our kids as many opportunities as possible, so that they may choose the path that is right for them.
Regardless of whether you choose our family, another family, or if you choose to parent, we have a massive amount of respect and admiration for the personal courage you have shown to make it to this point. A family, we believe, should be all about love and support. While we don’t know what your situation is, or what your support system looks like, we know that you must be an incredibly strong person to consider such a hard decision.
If you choose us to raise your child, we will make sure they know as much of your story as we are able to share with them. We are hoping to find an open adoption situation that includes some amount of communication, photo/letter sharing, and even visits if you are open to this. Regardless of the amount of openness you are comfortable with, we will make sure your child knows that they are loved unconditionally, by us, and by you.