Introduction

Dear Expectant Parents,

When we think about adoption, we do not only think about the joys we hope to know as parents. Your experience is upper-most in our minds. We imagine that considering an adoption plan is likely a very difficult decision for you to consider. Our hearts are full of respect for you as we think about this path you are considering. We want to assure you that, if chosen to be the adoptive parents for your child, we would enthusiastically welcome your child into our lives and hearts. We would welcome staying connected with you over the years, if this is something you would like. We want you to be able to know your child growing up, if this is comfortable for you. We think it’s important for children to know everyone who loves them. We also want you to feel reassured that you made a good decision, a choice that will bring your child happiness and the support you want them to have to fulfill their dreams. We will make sure to raise your child with love for you and a deep appreciation for your selfless choice. We look forward to knowing the joys and responsibilities of being parents and we are grateful to you for considering us.

Both of us love children dearly and we have been trying to conceive a child with no success. Unfortunately, due to infertility, we are unable to have a child through our own efforts. We have both always loved being around children. Mike worked as a camp counselor before college and we both have been active, as aunt and uncle, to our niece and nephew as well as to the children of our friends. While these times have brought us great joy, we have also wanted to be the one to read bedtime stories at night, pack their favorite lunch for school in the morning and to be the one to introduce them to the beauty of the world. 

For years, we’ve been preparing to be parents. After finding a wonderful home, which we chose with having children in mind, we decided we were ready for a baby.  A frustrating year passed without any luck and we decided it was time to see a fertility specialist. We went through numerous rounds of infertility treatments with little success.

Jen: Our final failed effort at fertility treatment took place the same week that my grandmother passed away. While traveling to attend her funeral, I stopped in the bathroom while waiting to board the plane. I saw a woman looking blissfully happy, holding a newborn baby. I felt especially sorry for myself when I saw her. Then, another woman asked the new mom if the baby was her first. The happy mom explained that she had actually just been blessed with a child through adoption and they were on their way home for the first time. She was so excited to finally be a family. It was a little surreal, but, I suddenly stopped feeling sad and angry as I listened to her and, instead, I felt peace. Mike and I had talked about adoption before, but, it was at that moment that I realized that adoption was the path I wanted to take. I knew, in my heart, that I would be just as happy as the mom I had seen that day. I felt hopeful, for the first time in years, about what the future would bring.

Mike: Jen is a very nurturing woman. I see how great she is when we are with her sister’s daughter and son. Our niece loves her Auntie and attaches to her hip whenever Jen is around, begging for one more story or to color one more picture. Jen absolutely adores our niece and nephew. When I see their interactions, it makes me realize over and over how wonderful a person Jen is and how great a mother she will be.

Jen: I am certain that Mike will be an amazing father. One of the first moments that made me realize I wanted to marry him was seeing him lay on the floor to play with his young cousins at a family party. He was happy to play with Legos with them rather than watch the football game with the other men. His cousins are now teenagers and still look up to him. I know he will be a father who will always put his child first and be very involved in all aspects of his or her life.

We would love to share more information about us and about all that we hope to offer to a child.

Mike

I was born in Boston and grew up about 30 minutes south of the city as an only child. My childhood was filled with a lot of love and happiness as I was very lucky to be a part of a large extended family that got together often. There were also about twenty other kids in the neighborhood who were within two to three years of my age. There was always something going on.

My dad was a third generation Boston firefighter and my mother worked for the transit system; I have great memories of spending time with both parents at their respective workplaces. My parents were very loving and caring for me as a child; I couldn’t have asked for better parents.

Growing up, sports and being active were a large part of my life. I was always outside, no matter the season, playing some sort of sport or game with friends. The love of all the sports teams (particularly the Red Sox) has really been a big factor in my life. It really started when I was about 8 when my father bought us season tickets to the Red Sox.  We still have this tradition to this day. The bond and cherished memories of going to the Fenway Park for a Sox game with my dad is something that I will hold with me forever.

If our child has any interest in sports, I’d be happy to share that love and passion for the game (and for the Sox) with them.  And if they’re interested in something completely different, something that is uniquely their own passion, I will be excited to share that with them as well. It’s the sense of support you can give a child and having fun with them doing so that is such a lifelong gift.

When I was ten, my mother, who’d been ill for several years, died of breast cancer. I think of her every day and miss her terribly. What I learned from this sad loss is how precious life is, that it’s important to cherish each other every day; I also learned how important both parents are to a child. I hope to be as loving a parent as my mother was and as loving as my father continues to be and to pass on the love she gave to me by being the most loving dad possible. My father remarried a few years after my mother passed and I have been very lucky to have a caring step-mother, Patti, who, together with my father, made sure I had all the love, support and encouragement I needed to pursue my dreams.

I attended high school in Boston and then attended college in Pennsylvania. I graduated with a double degree in Finance and Management. I’ve been in the banking and finance industry since graduating from college. Once I moved back closer to home, I also managed to complete my Master’s in Business Administration degree. This was a particularly proud achievement of mine as I put in a lot of hard work and effort to complete my degree while working full time. I have a position that provides the security with which to support our family and the flexibility to enable me to be an active dad and involved parent with our child.

Jen

I grew up in a quiet small town in Maine.   I have amazing and supportive parents and one younger sister who is now a nurse practitioner. My growing up years were shaped in a significant way by the fact that our family had a home on a lake in Maine where we gathered as a family. The camp has long been a big part of my family and is a tradition we continue today. We can’t wait to bring our child to the camp so they can know their cousins and enjoy all the fun that the surroundings have to offer.

Many weekends in the summer and fall were spent at camp over the course of all my growing up years. Swimming, fishing, waterskiing and tubing and kayaking are a few of the activities we enjoy there.  Cribbage and other board games and camp fires are frequent activities at night. In the past few years, it has been fun bringing my young niece and nephew up there and I know that they will soon enjoy the same activities that my sister and I did as children. I can’t wait for the day that I can spend time with our own child there as well.

My grandfather was a physician and, upon retirement, set up a small nonprofit scholarship foundation that provides scholarships to students enrolled in nursing school. Many of these students are single mothers who are working full time while pursuing their nursing degree. When not spending time with Mike or working, I enjoy helping the family foundation by sitting on the Board of Directors.  It is very rewarding to be able to make a small difference in someone’s life and I hope that our child will be interested in becoming involved in the foundation one day.

I attended college in Vermont where I studied Fine Arts and Journalism.  I currently work for a large financial company and still enjoy the arts in my free time. I am excited for the chance to nurture our child’s creativity through the arts starting at a young age. I often enjoy activities such as painting and creating various craft projects with my young niece and nephew. I also love to teach them songs that I remember from my childhood and watch them clap and sing along. I look forward to spending time doing the same activities with our child.

Relationship

We met in 2002 while working for the same large financial services company. Jen was new to the company and started within the same department as Mike. Mike would think of excuses to come ask Jen questions at work so he could talk to her. Several months later, during a work outing for drinks, we talked more and both realized that there may be more of a connection than just associates at work. Our first date was at a nice restaurant where we sat and talked for quite a while. Even though we had known each other for a couple months through work, it was great to finally get to know more about each other. It must have been fate that brought us together at our company because Jen had been an art major in college living in Maine when she needed a change. A friend was able to help get her a job and a place to live in Boston. Even though it wasn’t a field she was initially interested in, she took the job and made the move. As things turned out, she really enjoyed the job and we ended up meeting not too long after she moved to the Boston area.

Jen: Mike proposed after five years together. He asked me if I wanted to go for a walk in the park near our apartment. This was something we liked to do often on evenings after dinner when the weather was nice. I thought nothing of it and tried to invite our roommate along for the walk. Luckily she saw Mike waving and saying no behind me and declined. About halfway around our usual loop, Mike said he was tired and needed to rest in an open clearing with a beautiful view. It was there he took out the ring and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I was surprised and excited,  and I said, “yes!”

Mike: Our wedding was a special time in our lives. We were blessed to be surrounded by all of our family and friends in a beautiful ceremony. Even though it was in the middle of Tropical Storm Hannah, we couldn’t have imagined our wedding day working out as great as it did.  It was an unusually warm September evening and the air conditioning at the venue was not working, but we danced the night away with our wind swept and rained on guests. No one let the weather dampen their festive mood and it has only added to our wonderful memories of the day.

Jen:  I love Mike for his sweet and caring nature and sense of humor. Mike is the kind of person who gives what he can to charities and helps elderly ladies get cans that are out of reach at the grocery store.  I appreciate all the little things he does each day at home, like always washing the dishes after I cook dinner and making me tea before bed. Mike can always make me laugh to cheer me up when I might be having rough day. I love that when we visit my family in Maine, Mike is often seen playing hide and seek or helping our three-year-old niece color in her play tent.

Mike: I love Jen because of her kind, honest and selfless nature. She is the first one to offer friends and family her time and help whenever needed. Jen also has a great sense of humor and can drop a quick little one liner that will have both of us cracking up with laughter nonstop. She is quick to cheer me up during any rough patches that I may have. I can come home from work after a bad day and she’ll be there to greet me with a big hug and make me smile within seconds.

A very important and large part of our relationship has been our shared passion for traveling. Before we were married, we traveled around Ireland with friends and spent time in the Caribbean. After we were married, we went to Hawaii for our honeymoon. It was incredible trip as we were starting our married life together. It was truly unforgettable.

Jen: For our fifth wedding anniversary, Mike wanted to do something special and romantic so he surprised me with a trip to Sedona, Arizona. He knew this was one place I had always wanted to travel and had never been. He planned hikes, a jeep tour and a hot air balloon ride over the scenic red canyons. It was an amazing trip to a beautiful part of our country and even though the balloon ride was ultimately cancelled due to weather; this just gives us a reason to return in the future. We hope that, in the future, we are able to continue our travels, not only as a couple, but, with a child, to explore other cultures and historical place throughout the world.

Jen and Mike love the outdoors and being with nature. We enjoy going on walks around the neighborhood and hikes especially in Maine in the fall. We both enjoy being on the water as well whether it’s relaxing at the beach or Mike’s parents’ pool or the numerous activities at the lake in Maine. We both love to go skiing with friends and family and Mike loves to golf with friends around home or in Maine with Jen’s parents.

We love to spend time in the kitchen together as well. We both really enjoy cooking and coming up with new recipes or twists on one of our favorites. We enjoy having our families over for a dinner or making some special meals for a Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or Christmas Eve. Our love for the kitchen and cooking is something that we would love to share and enjoy with our child.

Home and Neighborhood

We bought our home 6 years ago in a great, safe and family-friendly neighborhood in hopes of starting our family. Our four bedroom colonial is a great size with a screened in back porch and a farmer’s porch.  The spacious and private back yard is great place to relax or play catch. There are always children playing and running around or families walking their dogs through the streets of the neighborhood. Our house is surrounded by conservation land so it can be very quiet and peaceful at times as well. The town we live in can feel like we’re in the middle of the country at times especially when the horse show is in town and there are also a couple of farms that are close by. Our town has a real sense of community and togetherness. Whether it is the town fields that are always filled with children playing soccer, softball or baseball or people coming together to enjoy the Veteran’s Day or the July 4^th Parade through the center of town there is always something going on.

Family Times

We live within a half hour of Mike’s parents and his large extended family. Being so close allows us to spend quality time with them whether it’s a Sunday dinner or swimming at Mike’s parents’ pool on a hot summer day. Mike grew up as only child however it always helped that he had such a large extended family with many aunts and uncles and cousins of a similar age. Holidays and family parties are frequent in Mike’s family. There’s always a great excuse to get together whether it’s a graduation, a birthday or someone feels like having a big family dinner.

Jen’s family is smaller but very close knit. They live about two hours away in Maine and we visit about once a month.

Jen has one sister who is married and has two small children; they live close to Jen’s parents. Our three-year-old niece Zoe loves to color and play make believe. She often gets the whole family to hide under the blankets on the sofa when she says “Oh no! The bears are coming! We have to hide!” Zoe and her Grampy also have an ongoing argument about who is the silliest goose (we think it’s a tie). We look forward to seeing what her baby brother Emmett adds to the conversation when he gets older.  Zoe adores her Gramma as well and loves to help her in the kitchen.  Both of our families are very supportive and excited to for us to start our family. Adoption is not a new concept for either of our families. Mike’s dad has two cousins who were adopted and fully supported by the entire family. Jen also has a couple of second cousins who were also adopted. Our child would have family with whom they could share that bond with as well as people they could turn to for advice.

Parenting

Our foundation for parenting comes from how both of us were raised. We were raised to be honest, kind and respectful. Mike was always taught by his dad and grand-father the “Golden Rule” –to treat others the way you would want to be treated and to be respectful of other people, property and cultures. Everyone in the world is different somehow and we should embrace those differences, not judge them. Education is also a very important factor to us as future parents. We have started an education fund for our future child’s choice of college or vocational education and will provide for every educational opportunity possible for our child. Whether our child attends college or feels that another path would help them pursue certain goals, we will support them in pursuing and engaging in the opportunities that will fulfill their dreams. We will offer our unwavering support in their pursuit of whatever passions and interests they discover whether it is through art, music, science or sports. We want to provide them the same support and opportunities for education and training that both of us had in our lives.

Over these past few years we have been preparing ourselves to become parents. We both have stable jobs that provide a great deal of flexibility to enable us to be active parents. We both are fortunate that we have the ability to work from home 2-3 days per week. We have also discussed the possibility that Jen might switch to part time as well in the future. For the few days when we’re not home, our plan is to have our child go to a small very family-friendly day-care center very close to home that focuses on early education and creative learning.

We want you to know that our plan, from day one, is to talk warmly and lovingly about adoption. We want to be open and honest with the child from the start so they will always understand and appreciate their story. Depending on your feelings, we are open to you having a warm relationship with your child as they grow up; our understanding is that children are not confused by this and, instead, feel great relief over knowing the truth of their situation. They feel more “whole” by having the ongoing opportunity to know everyone who loves them. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read our letter and consider us as possible adoptive parents of your child. We truly admire your strength and courage with these difficult decisions – the first, whether or not to proceed to make an adoption plan and, the second how to provide your child with the adoptive family that you feel will be the best choice. If chosen as the adoptive family for your child, please know that we would provide a loving, supportive and healthy home. 

We wish nothing but the best for you as you go through this difficult and emotional time. Thank you for reading our letter and considering us to be the adoptive parents to your child. We would love to hear from you. Please call Full Circle Adoptions at 1-800-452-3678 if you would like to learn more about us or speak with us.

Warmly and with respect,

Jen and Mike