Introduction
Dear Birthmother,
We are sitting at our kitchen table on a warm summer day and we are trying to imagine the connection that may arise between us. We have wanted to be parents for a long time and we have been unable to have a child. You are considering one of the biggest decisions in your life. We are humbled by your dedication to giving your child a good home. We respect and admire your courage. We’d like to tell you about our lives so that you might have the information you need to consider our family. Thank you.
About Us
We’ve shaped our work lives so that the child we are blessed to adopt will be cared for at home by us. Paula works as a nurse only on the weekends and so she’s home full-time during the week. Havila works in education, focusing on ‘on-line’ education, much of which she can do from home. Your child would be blessed to have both parents at home most of the time. As Havila also speaks Spanish, we hope to give our child the opportunity to learn more than one language. The opportunity for a very warm and stable home and a great education are part of what we want to share.
We can’t wait to know both the joys and responsibilities of creating a home together. It’s important to us that you now how much we will love your child; we are very ready to devote our time, energy and resources on caring for a child. If you would like this, our hearts are open to staying in touch with you in the years ahead so that you can know that our shared dreams for your child are being realized. We will do everything we can to fill your child’s life with safety, security, love, faith, joy and an enduring spirit.
Our Relationship
We have been very blessed to share the last 22 years together as life partners and best friends. We met in college after we, literally, bumped into each other in a stair well. . After nearly falling down the staircase, we got up, brushed ourselves off and ended up laughing for two hours about our mishap as we shared our life stories with each other. We have been inseparable since that very day. We have built a life of love, mutual respect, open communication, and a commitment to see each day through with each other. Your child would have parents whose relationship has stood the test of time. We’re now more than ready to focus on loving and caring for a child.
Paula:
Hav is a wonderful and compassionate woman; she’s going to be a wonderful mother. She has her dad’s sense of humor and his capacity to love unconditionally. She has her mother’s good intuition and sense of loyalty. She is very kind, loving, and giving and always sees the good in people and puts herself in their shoes first. I know Hav was born to be a mother because she is patient and gentle and loves her family unconditionally. Children really love Hav and are always drawn to play with her. She runs around with our nieces and nephew first during visits before sitting down with the adults. All of her nieces and nephews adore her. Secretly, I think she is the favorite aunt. They call her for advice and want to be around her immediately when she walks into a room. Hav is an amazing educator, too. I have heard from so many of her ex-students who credit her with making a difference in their lives. She has such a loving way of speaking with her students even when teaching them life lessons. I can’t wait to see her teach our child how to play board games, take pictures with her camera, and gain beginning skills in the world of technology. I really can’t wait to see this amazing mother emerge.
Hav:
From that very first day I met Paula, I knew that she was my one and only. She is the most compassionate person I know. I love her so very much. She is so organized and calm. She loves from the bottom of her toes to the tip of her head. She is going to have so much love for our child. I feel so complete when I see how excited Paula is about being a mother. I love the way she plays with her niece and nephew and sometimes sit in awe of her when I watch her. When we get to her brother’s house her two year old nephew, Max, immediately chases her down with a book in his hand. Within five minutes she is usually on the floor with Max on her lap. I look forward to being parents with her and enjoying each minute of our child’s life.
Comfortable in Our Lives
We are completely prepared to bring a child into our lives. We have discussed our adoption process with those near and dear to us. Both our friends and families have offered an overwhelming amount of support. Hav has four older sisters and two younger brothers. Paula has an older brother. Between us we have 24 nieces and nephews, and 4 four great-nieces and nephews. Each and every one of our family members is overjoyed about the prospect of us becoming parents. Our parents are very excited to welcome a new grandchild. When we approached our family and friends about our decision to adopt a child, they were relieved that we did not end our dream of having a child because of our infertility. Our friends are excited that their children will have “cousins” from their favorite “aunts”. Our families are very close and the many get-togethers that we will attend will have new meaning for us because we will be coming as a family instead of just as a couple.
We are financially sound and prepared to ensure our child has the best education opportunities. We believe in education and the power of learning. Hav has earned a Masters degree in elementary education and school administration and is currently completing a doctorate in instructional technology. Paula has a master’s degree in the field of nursing. Saving for school and college was one of our priorities for a child, and we have made sure that we have started an educational fund that will provide many choices for our child when they go to school.
Our Values
Education is not only about what school you send a child to but also what experiences they have. We want to combine school with many life experiences. We love to vacation during Christmas, visit our nation’s historic areas, travel to Puerto Rico to visit family, and pick a new place to see every year. These experiences will allow us to show our child that there is a whole world that they need to learn about. In addition to traveling, we want to take our child to visit family every opportunity we get. Our family is so diverse and large in race, ethnicity and culture. Our child will be able to see that families can come in many different colors and with many different traditions; they will be raised to embrace tolerance and accept all people.
We will be able to accomplish all of this because, not only made sure that we are financially sound, we have chosen careers that allow us to have flexible schedules. Paula is a nurse at a major hospital and she has a weekend only schedule. She will be able to stay home all week with our child. I am a school administrator with a school that helps promote learning through computer instruction and I work from home most days. That will allow us the opportunity to fill our child’s day with meaningful experiences, adventure, and discovery. We live on a wonderful street filled with families with children of many ages. Our neighborhood (on a dead-end street, where cars are uncommon) is always bustling with children playing catch, riding bikes, playing tag, and other child’s play. By having our child home with us, they will be part of these great times.
Our Home
Our neighborhood’s sense of community and diversity will, once again, allow our child to see many different types of families. We live in the suburbs of city in Pennsylvania where our child will be one of many children who are adopted, who have two moms, who have several heritages in their family and so forth. We live in an open-minded, loving, inclusive community who will welcome our child with the same enthusiasm as our families. We have many men in our lives – brothers, fathers, friends, who our child will know as active members of his or her life. We will nurture our child to be who they are and appreciate the love they receive from everyone in their lives.
Most importantly, we are going to love your child. We are going to kiss them every morning and read them bedtime stories every night. We want to teach them how to complete puzzles and play Candy Land. We want to cheer at their baseball games and watch them ride a bike. Your child will be raised with the opportunity to learn more than one language.. We are going to kiss boo boos and chase away scary things in the middle of the night. We are going to have family vacation albums to Disney World and the beach. We will teach our child to respect differences and embrace all people. We are going to the park for bike rides and put our child on our shoulders when they get too tired to hike anymore. Our child will learn how to organize their time and know the value of a dollar. We will talk, talk, talk our way through our life together. Our child will be raised to know the value of giving without remembering and receiving without forgetting. They will know charity and perseverance. Our child will know love, compassion, joy, family, and a deep faith in all that is good in this world.
Keeping in Touch
We will raise our child to appreciate his or her first parents – you. If you’d like to stay in touch, please know we’re open to hearing what would be meaningful to you. Would you like photo/letter updates, occasions when we’d get together in person, some phone calls at times. We are grateful beyond words that you might consider as parents for your child and want you to know that we will always raise your child to understand you love them too.
There is so much more to share with you. This letter couldn’t possibly cover all that we would do, nor all that we are. We are truly grateful to you for considering us as prospective parents and would be honored to have the opportunity to be chosen by you. If you would like to speak with us directly or meet with us in person, please call Full Circle at 1 800-452-3678.
Thank you so much,
Hav & Paula