Dear Birthparent(s),
We are Alex and Jamie. Happily married since 2014, both of us grew up in loving and supportive families who considered education a priority and instilled in us a love of life, family, and discovery. Our paths crossed after college, when we were living and working in Washington, D.C. After meeting online, we dated for three and a half years before taking the plunge and getting married. Our home is an apartment close to Boston, Massachusetts in a beautiful tree-lined neighborhood with access to parks, playgrounds, and good schools.
As a newly married couple, we discussed parenting and decided together that we both wanted to expand our family and become parents one day. This desire to parent brought us to adoption as the best way for us to grow our family. Now, as we wait to welcome a child into our lives, hopefully your child, we are both already so excited about all the firsts we’ll get to watch our child experience. To make sure we don’t miss any of these moments we both plan on taking paternity leaves from our jobs and after our time off are also prepared to make our work schedules flexible, so we can spend as much time as possible with our child as they grow up.
Let us tell you about who we are, so hopefully you’ll see just how special and loving our family is and how ready we are to welcome your child into our lives.
Alex grew up in suburban Maryland and is an only child. Jamie grew up in suburban Massachusetts and is the older of two siblings.
Jamie is first generation Italian-American, and his family often spent time in Italy during his childhood – playing, learning, and traveling with their large, extended family. Since Jamie is a fluent Italian and Spanish speaker, we plan to raise our child in a home that embraces learning different languages. We know first-hand the importance of experiencing as many cultural opportunities as we can, and we plan to do just that with our child.
Alex’s parents instilled in him a love of music. After nightly bedtime reading, Alex’s dad would sing to him, and as a child he acted in local theater. As a family, they would attend the symphony so Alex could hear music played live. In high school, he began voice lessons and became interested in music as a profession. Since music has played such a major role in Alex’s life, we plan to provide similar artistic opportunities and cultural experiences to our child.
Here’s the thing…for both of us, being a part of a supportive extended family is so vital to who we are. We have many relatives nearby, who are there to support us and our adoption journey. So, as we welcome a child into our lives, it’s important for us that our child realizes that they have so many sources of love (the two of us, our parents, our extended families, and you of course) and that they are truly part of our family from day one.
Another great resource for us is our extended circle of friends, who support and care for us in ways for which we are extremely grateful. Many live nearby, and others are far away, but we are always in contact with one another and visit each other frequently. Many of our friends are parents or are expecting children, and we look forward to the many playdates and visits with them to come!
Our home is urban, with access to all the safe, fun, and educational things a city has to offer, like museums, parks, places to play, and musical institutions. We love to cook together in our kitchen, and host dinners for friends around our dining table. The apartment is quiet and inviting, and (now that we’re baby-proofed) ready for the pitter-patter of little feet!
Jamie’s parents live on a 10-acre working farm, a 35-minute drive away. The property has wide fields for playtime, places to jump in leaves that fall from the surrounding woods, and hills to sled down in the winter. And, as an added bonus, Jamie’s sister and her family of three young children, live right next door. Our child will spend a great deal of time here, enjoying nature and playtime with their cousins.
Just a few minutes down the road from Jamie’s family are Alex’s parents, who relocated to the area after retirement. Their suburban home is warm, inviting, and on a wooded cul-de-sac. With both of our families living so closely nearby, our child will have something both of us cherished as children: getting to play in wide open spaces, see all of their grandparents frequently, and having an ongoing relationship with their whole family.
Now that you know a little about us, I want to tell you a little bit more about how we became Alex AND Jamie.
We met online, while we were both living in D.C. I like to think (maybe because it’s 90 percent true) that we moved pretty quickly from the digital realm to the real world – meeting in-person for a first date 48 hours after “meeting” online on February 16, 2011 (a day I’ll never forget). For our first date, we met for drinks, which turned into dinner, which turned into some outdoor ice skating.
Eventually, we fell into a relationship. I say fell because it just felt so easy, and each step was clear and right. I think one of the things that really helped us connect so deeply was Alex’s insistence of using real-world, human communication. When we weren’t together, because Alex didn’t text and didn’t have a smartphone, we just talked face-to-face or on the phone. This also meant that if we had any misunderstandings, we hashed them out with direct person-to-person conversation.
A year or so later, we moved in together. I applied to graduate school, hoping to finally leave D.C. and move back home to Boston – to be closer to family and to finally pursue something that has always been a dream of mine: journalism. And then Alex proposed (on Christmas), I cried, said yes, and we got engaged.
One night before Alex proposed, we were driving home from a friend’s house. Alex had learned by then that if I’m a passenger in a car, one of my favorite activities is to turn on NPR and slowly doze off. But, before I did, he asked me a few exploratory questions: what did I think about marriage and did I want a family someday?
In the years since, we’ve talked a lot about these questions. As we planned our 2014 wedding, we discussed it with both of our parents, explaining the importance of our wedding ceremony and the commitment we were making to “us.” All of them have grown to understand, love, and welcome us as a couple into our families since then and cannot wait to help us welcome a child into our lives.
It was Valentine’s Day, I was single and moping, and I went on my dating site, only to be pleasantly surprised to find a “wink” from Jamie. I checked out his profile, thought he was adorable, and sent him a message. We chatted for a bit, agreed to meet two days later for dinner, and have been together ever since.
In 2013, newly engaged, we moved north so Jamie could pursue a new career by going to school. We moved in August during a rainstorm, got a flat tire on our 17-foot U-Haul, and arrived 12 hours after our departure. It was a day that challenged us, but also confirmed our dedication to one another. I got a job a few weeks after moving, and we’ve loved our time living here. The only thing that would make it better is having a child join us!
Jamie is a man who says what he thinks and feels, a consummate Italian. I always know where I stand with him, and he is always communicative, whether through body language or spoken word. This is something I really appreciate about him. He is also kind, quick-witted, and makes me laugh. He is a gifted writer and great at his job in radio. We have boisterous fun, but we can also just sit in calm silence together.
For Jamie, family is everything. His parents, like mine, are very much understanding and supportive of our relationship and our pursuit of growing our family.
Jamie is the light of my life. He lifts my spirits and is a giving and caring husband. He is also a loving son, brother, and uncle. Jamie demonstrates his dedication to our family in countless ways, from providing tech support and being the chef of the family, to being an amazing playmate to our nieces and nephew.
When I asked Jamie to marry me, I couldn’t have imagined how right my choice was. I have seen him grow into a loving and supportive partner whose dedication to family, including me, always comes first. He is selfless, giving, and dedicated to the people in his life, and I know he will be an incredible father.
If I were to name one special thing about Alex it would definitely be his heart; it’s huge. And, while I might not acknowledge it enough, I hope Alex knows that I notice and appreciate this about him. Alex listens. He supports me and our relationship. He cares deeply about others and he shows his compassion daily, with small acts of grace and love. He’ll make an excellent, smart, and loving father.
If I’m the big thinker, the long-term planner, then Alex is the daily executioner, keeping the day-to-day responsibilities in order so we can move forward together. We’re a good team, and from our early conversations about where we saw our journey going, becoming parents was always something we wanted together. But it was something for the future, later…after we move, after graduate school, after Christmas.
That future, we know, is now.
Part of the reason we’ve decided we’re ready to become parents now is because of the love and knowledge we’ve gained from Jamie’s sister and her husband’s experience having children. At our October 2014 wedding, Jamie’s sister was eight months pregnant. And a month later she gave birth to our nephew. Less than a year later, she was pregnant again…with twin girls.
Some of our greatest joys come from spending time together with the kids, seeing them grow and change into amazing people. As we see them week to week, we notice changes in them, as they continue on their journeys into adulthood, that we can’t wait to see in our child someday. We try to encourage them, support them, and engage with them in a way that lets them know that they are loved, just as we will with your child, should you let us be their adoptive parents.
We wish we could find the words to describe what these three little angels/devils have brought to our family: a new sense of excitement, joy, love, energy, and play. They’ve taught us new patience, caring, understanding, flexibility, and most importantly that there will always be more room in our hearts to love and care for a new child.
Thank you for having the strength and self-awareness to consider making this decision, a decision that has the potential to change your life and ours. Although it is impossible for us to know completely what it must be like for you and your family right now, we do know that if you are even contemplating making an adoption plan, you are a generous and loving person. Thank you for considering making our dreams of expanding our family a reality.
Writing this letter to you – knowing how difficult it must be for you to pick a family for your child – was a challenge for us. We wanted to make sure to tell you as much as we could about our lives to help give you peace of mind. But, at the same time, we understand that this is just a letter, a small window into who we are, Alex and Jamie.
Though what we do on a daily basis pales in comparison to the complexity and intricacies of parenthood, we hope writing to you about our lives helps show you just how ready and excited we are to invite a child into our home, our lives, and our family.
We can’t imagine the gravity of the decision you’re making, yet here we are, asking you to place your trust in us and select us as your child’s adoptive parents. And we really hope you do!
Thank you for taking the time to learn a little bit about us. If you would like to learn more about us or speak with us please contact Full Circle Adoptions at 1-800-452-3678.
Warmly,