Dear Expectant Parent(s),
Hello, namaste, or, as we would say in our language, “namaskaara” (namas-kaa-ruh). We are very happy and grateful to be able to share a bit of ourselves with you. Our names are Shubha and Raghu. We are both from India; in fact, both from a city called Bengaluru (bengal-oo-ru) in the south of India. We both speak the same native language, a language called Kannada (rhymes with pun-a-duh) and our everyday communication at home is in a mixture of Kannada and English.
We were introduced through family and friends, and got married in 2013. We had never lived together, so we felt we needed to spend some time getting to really know and trust each other. We were also equally certain that we each needed to feel a sense of independence and stability before we could take the important step of growing our family.
When we felt we were ready to bring a new life into our family we tried conceiving naturally but were unable to. For many years before she met Raghu, Shubha had harbored a dream of adopting a child. It feels like providence has led us to the path of open adoption, and so here we are, waiting with anticipation to welcome a child into our home and hearts.
One of the first things that stood out to me about Shubha was her love for her nephew, Skandha (rhymes with fun-dhAh). He was born with undiagnosed cerebral palsy, which confused and overwhelmed his parents and caused their doctors to throw their hands up in despair. Shubha would not accept this, and hounded specialist after specialist until they had properly diagnosed him and provided treatment options. She eventually helped find Skandha a special-needs school, and was filled with pride, some years later, as she watched him play the hand drums in a school musical performance. After I heard this story, I thought to myself, “This person seems special. I need to book myself a ticket to India to get to know her.”
Shubha is a very driven person. When she puts her mind to something, she will try her best to achieve it. Rebuilding her career in the US was an uphill struggle, but I’m very proud to now see her thriving at work, a place where her professional experience and guidance are much sought after. Shubha’s professional success is certainly influenced by her hands-on creativity, which also shows in the various decorations in our house and in the meals that she conjures up in the kitchen every week.
In Shubha, I see a mother who will love a child unconditionally, advocate for them, and instill in them a sense of creativity and drive. I also see a mother who will teach her child to stand up for themselves, but also to respect others and treat them fairly.
Raghu is a very good listener and, as I have discovered over the years, he often really immerses himself into a conversation. I joke that the very first time we spoke, my experience was similar to the exam I had for my PhD defense! Raghu is also kind, compassionate, and supportive. He encourages my creativity, and is a willing partner in the various projects that I dream up, whether they are about home décor or cooking. His approach is a mixture of scientific and fun, and I feel like it provides a good balance to my sometimes impractical imagination.
I’ve seen Raghu play with kids of all ages, and I admire how he is able to connect with them. Children seem to gravitate towards him. I can already imagine him playing games of tag, hide-and-seek, or roll-around-in-the-grass with a child in our backyard. I can also see him consoling a child, as they show him their scraped knee, or tell him about the exam that didn’t go so well.
Raghu is more social than I am and has lots of good-hearted friends, many of them going back to his early school days. He runs and bikes to stay in shape, and has run many races (including marathons!). He is very interested in music of all types and I love to hear him sing.
I couldn’t ask for a better husband than Raghu. We do have our differences, but we balance and complement each other in personality. Raghu is reliable, patient and so incredibly supportive. He is my rockstar!
People who enter our home will often comment on the sense of warmth that they get, whether it is from the décor or the aroma of freshly cooked food that wafts through the house. We don’t consider ourselves extroverted but we enjoy cooking meals for our friends. When we cook, it is usually Raghu serving as sous chef and Shubha putting it all together, with music of some genre playing in the background. We try to make our house a home, one where a child will feel safe and loved.
Our neighborhood is great for both walking and biking. There is a park and softball field behind our house that many families in the neighborhood take their kids to. Seeing families walk and run past our house every day reassures us that we live in a safe and friendly neighborhood, a perfect place to raise a family!
We live in a Boston suburb with a very interesting mix of residents. Raghu says “In the 18 years since I have lived in this town I am happy to say that I have seen the diversity of the town increase in a way that has made me feel more and more comfortable living here.” Another one of the reasons we live here is for the schools. Both of our families placed a large value on education, and we both believe that a good education is an important foundation for a child. All the children in our neighborhood walk to the nearby school, and we can’t wait to someday walk a child to their first day too!
We were both raised in India in typical middle-class families with strong family values. Shubha is the youngest of four siblings. Her immediate family all live in Bengaluru, and she talks to them on the phone every week. Shubha is also a steady presence in the lives of her niece and nephews, who often seek her advice on all sorts of matters. Raghu is the oldest of three boys. One of his brothers lives here in the US, and he has several cousins here too. He enjoys regular conversations with his parents, brothers and their families. When they were younger, his niece and nephew always recruited him for their “wildlife hunts,” combat missions, and horseback rides through their house and backyard.
You know the saying “Your friends are your family?” Well, that couldn’t be more true for us. We view our friends here in the Boston-area as our family too. In this way we feel fortunate to have a strong support network. We have already received many offers of baby-sitting!
Indian culture and tradition are integral to the lives of our families. Language, food, festivals, mythology, songs and spirituality are all aspects of our core values. Our parents taught us to value culture and we hope to be able to instill all of this appreciation in a child. We also recognize that it is equally important to respect and understand other peoples’ cultures. We hope to raise a child that is a citizen of the world.
In India, one of the most fun festivals, celebrated all over the country, is the Festival of Lights – Diwali. As kids ourselves, we remember waking up early in the morning, having a shower, wearing new clothes, eating some delicious snacks that our mothers made, and running outside to burst small firecrackers with our friends. Now, here in the US, we celebrate the day by inviting friends over to have dinner with us. Shubha goes all out cooking up an elaborate meal, we get decked in traditional Indian clothes, and share the warmth with our friends – this has become our tradition, one we will share with a child.
One of the things we particularly enjoy doing together is traveling. We love to explore different countries, cultures, sights and smells, and try to plan a trip to a different country every year. We can tell you that the food, language, sights and smells are amazingly different in each of these countries. And we very much look forward to sharing these adventures with a child. We can’t wait to see the curiosity, wonder and puzzlement in the child’s eyes as she or he walks down cobblestone streets or a sandy beach; enters cathedrals, temples or caves; and encounters the smell, colors and chaos of a market place in different countries and cultures.
Thank you for taking time to go through our profile. We can’t imagine how anxious you must feel to find loving parents for your child. We admire your strength and courage in taking this big step in life, and we can assure you that the child we adopt will be our number ONE priority. Nothing is more important than the well being of the child. We will do our best to provide them with a good life, a loving and caring family, and good values and education. We will strive to instill confidence in herself/himself, and a respect and love for others, nature, culture, knowledge and art. We will be open and honest about the child’s background, and make her/him understand that all decisions taken on both sides were centered around love.
We wish you all the best as you decide what path is best for you and your baby. If you’d like to get to know us better, or have any questions, we would be happy to speak with you!