Dear Expectant Parent(s),
We are grateful that you are taking the time to learn more about us and hope you can see what using this as the title of our story demonstrates about us. Jay refers to us as “JAshley” and was disappointed when Ashley would not allow that to be our wedding hashtag, but:
We know how to compromise
We can be silly
We are incomplete without each other
We both lived fulfilling lives before we met in 2014, but we knew early on that we had found what we were looking for in each other. Jay had plenty to talk about on our first date, given he had survived a thrilling sea kayak adventure the night before, and Ashley told him he was the most handsome bald man she had ever met. In 2016, we found our dream home and in 2018 we got married and began trying to start the family we had envisioned.
After several years of trying, it became clear that we would not be able to have a biological child. However, our story is not a sad one; we had a very happy beginning and are looking forward to our Happily Ever After! We are pursuing adoption with the same excitement and anticipation towards growing our family that we felt after getting married. The last few years have made us only more certain and determined that we want to raise a child. Adoption was a big decision for us and we can only imagine the weight of the decision you are currently facing.
Jay is a structural engineer, and he has worked at the same company since he graduated from college in 2007. He likes his job, and he’s very good at it, but he has many interests and activities outside of work, such as hockey, reading, rock climbing, video games, skiing, running, and biking. Jay doesn’t like talking about himself, so Ashley has prepared a list of fun facts about him on his behalf:
Jay’s name is just Jay, it is not short for anything like Jason.
Jay is the house cook and takes recipes very seriously, following them to a tee.
Jay is the happiest, friendliest, most caring person you will ever meet.
Jay takes great pride in his cholesterol levels.
Jay is a morning person.
Jay loves being around people, but he hates being the center of attention.
Jay’s favorite color is blue and so he owns a lot of blue things.
Jay loves winter and colder weather and is the captain of his company’s ski team.
Jay has played hockey his whole life and would love to share that passion with a child.
Jay makes Ashley laugh every day.
Jay loves animals and enjoys watching all the birds nest around our house every spring, but he especially loves our dog Lena and spoils her.
Jay builds his computers from scratch.
Jay dislikes coffee and anything that tastes like coffee (even Hazelnut flavoring).
Jay has a big sweet tooth for candy and ice cream.
Jay loves spicy food.
Jay loves reading and sharing epic fantasy and science-fiction novels with friends and family.
Ashley is a civil engineer, which can involve a lot of different types of projects, but most recently she has been working specifically on solar developments. She is very passionate about solar energy but also has interests and activities outside of work, such as rock climbing, reading, rowing, yoga, gardening, chess, and crafts. No one knows Ashley better than Jay, so he has put together a short list of fun facts about her on her behalf:
Ashley has a beautiful smile.
Ashley can always make Jay smile.
Ashley is very organized and keeps careful notes of everything.
Ashley is a night owl.
Ashley loves to read.
Ashley loves the summer and all things warm.
Ashley loves going to the beach.
Ashley is an independent, self-sufficient, woman of our time.
Ashley is always looking for opportunities to improve herself.
Ashley is the BEST at researching.
Ashley loves to take care of plants, inside and out.
We believe that a home is made when it is filled with love, and our home has plenty of that, which we hope to someday share with a child. We have put a lot of energy into making our home a comfortable haven for our family. We fenced in our yard, which is a safe place for our dog to play. We screened in our deck to enjoy all of the nature in our backyard, even during the buggy weather, and when the weather becomes unbearable, we cozy up in our living room.
Our neighborhood is a quiet community nestled in the woods. Our road doesn’t get a lot of traffic, so there are always people and children out walking, running, and riding bikes. Our neighbors are very friendly and always wave and say “Hi”.
We live in a small town that has invested a lot into the new elementary school, which is only five minutes from our house and has big open playing fields. Whatever our small town cannot provide, we can easily find in one of the neighboring towns. We live near local beaches, state parks, and nature trails. We also live close to the city, which has a children’s museum, aquarium, arcade, gyms, bowling alleys, and all kinds of attractions for kids.
We are very close with our families, who are a major part of our lives; whether it’s Ashley squeezing in a weekly call to her mom while picking up breakfast every weekend or Jay on his weekly gaming Zoom sessions with his brother, we’re always finding ways to make time for family. We both have siblings we consider to be some of our best friends and love getting together often for dinners and movies. Jay’s parents live in the next town over, which makes getting together very easy. Ashley’s parents live farther away but close enough that we can still plan a day trip on a weekend to visit for brunch or dinner. We make sure to set aside time to get together with both our families regularly.
Our families are both very supportive and excited about our decision to adopt, frequently asking for updates about how the process is going. Neither of our parents has any grandchildren yet, so they are very eager to step into the role of doting grandparents and fun babysitters.
Many of our closest friends have moved away over the years and are scattered all over the country, but that doesn’t make them any less a part of our lives! We like to travel at least once a year to visit with various friends, either visiting their homes or planning a group destination vacation somewhere beautiful and warm. We also have local friends we love getting together with, many of whom have children and are a treat to play with.
We are creatures of habit and look forward to our daily, weekly, and seasonal routines. We always make time to have distraction-free family meals together every day, and to take our dog on neighborhood walks together. On weekends, we look forward to movie nights cuddled up on the couch, hitting our favorite brunch spots, and we even try to make running errands and doing chores into something fun by doing them together.
As far as family holiday traditions, since both of our families have similar special traditions, we alternate major holidays with each family annually. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and Fourth of July are special times that we always celebrate with family. We both have large and close-knit families, so holiday get-togethers are always big parties with lots of excited children running around.
We have plenty of seasonal activities to look forward to as well. In the spring, we make time to travel. In the summer, we plan a week-long family beach trip so we can cool off by the water, and we always attend the local summer festival with friends, family, and their children. In the fall, we love going apple picking, pumpkin picking, and cider/donut tasting. In the winter, we take a week off from work between Christmas and the New Year to just relax and spend time with family. Jay is a big sports fan, so when there is an opportunity to get together with friends and family to share snacks and watch big games together, we always take it.
We have a lot to be grateful for, including each other, our home, family, and friends. We are very proud of this life that we have built together. We hope to share everything we have with a child to provide them with the security and love that every child desires, in addition to the less exciting things like vegetables with dinner and help with homework. We may not know you yet, but we know that the decision you’re considering is an honorable one. It is clear to us that you care deeply about the future of the baby, and we hold you in the highest regard.
We thank you for taking the time to consider us as potential adoptive parents, and we hope we have shown you everything we could offer. We promise to be open and accepting of a child’s individual needs, and we will do whatever we can to ensure that the child is raised with a strong sense of self and a knowledge of where they came from. We look forward to meeting you soon and getting to know more about your hopes and dreams for the baby, as we are committed to sharing everything we can about you with the child and will always be open and honest with them. In the meantime, know that you have our support and well wishes as you make this difficult decision.