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Dear Birthmother Letter / Profile
Todd and Debbie

Dear Birthmother,

We can't thank you enough for taking the time to consider us as possible parents for your expected child. We have been together for 15 years and, after three years of infertility treatment and subsequent miscarriages, doctors have told us that we won't be able to have a child on our own. We will be so grateful to the birthparents that choose us as adoptive parents; we are so eager to love a child and to dedicate our day to day lives to helping them grow into their adulthood with a strong sense of all who love them and the self confidence to do anything they set their minds to. We'd love to share a little about ourselves with you and invite you to call us or to call the agency's toll free number so that we might have a chance to learn more about your hopes and dreams for your child.

A number of years ago, I (Debbie) threw a college graduation party for my boyfriend (now my husband), to congratulate him on graduating from college. He had both been working and going to classes full-time while going to college for a number of years. I had ordered his class ring as a special token and to recognize this great accomplishment. It was a big deal and I'd invited about 40 people. As he opened his present, in front of everyone, his forehead wrinkled and he said, "There must be some mistake. I think this belongs to you." He turned it around to face me. There, sitting in the box, was a diamond engagement ring. (He had pulled a switch). I thought I was throwing him a graduation party and he had secretly turned it into an engagement party as well. He proposed and I accepted, all in the presence of our loving families and friends. This became the opening scene of our wedding video.
hat part of our early relationship has been an enduring part of who we are as a family. In almost everything we do for each other, we both feel we've received great joy. All that Todd does for me and my family seems to make him feel good and all that I do for him seems to enrich my life as well.

We've wanted so much to share our joy and playfulness with a child. What we offer is our love, our devotion and our pledge to give your child the best life possible. We have always wanted to be parents and we always considered childhood to be a sacred time; now, we appreciate the experience of being parents all the more and look forward to the day we can say thanks by dedicating our lives to loving and nurturing a child.

Todd: While we were dating and I was having a moment of discouragement about finishing school, Debbie said the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. She said, "I'll always be here for you, whether it's beside you when you need a friend, behind you when you need a push, or in front of you when you need someone to lead the way." Those words continue to give me comfort and a sense of trust that is incomparable. She's always been true to those words. I also think that her ability to really be "there" for another person will be a part of why she'll be such a wonderful mom. The opportunity to be a parent with her would be my greatest joy.

I was blessed with a supportive family; there are so many qualities of my childhood that I would like to share with a child. When I was growing up, some of my favorite times were spent with my family at the lakeside. I dream of spending time with our child swimming, rowing a boat in the lake and playing in the sand. I look forward to helping to develop the child's interests and providing guidance when needed. Depending upon what our son or daughter wants, I'm ready to pretend with "action figures", create forts with the living room couches and blankets, and go on an "exploration". I know how to take direction from young pilots and how to play games so that kids have a feeling of success as well as genuine fun. We both know that parenthood brings great responsibility. When it comes to limit setting, we believe in redirection, keeping our voices as low as possible and recognizing that kids are kids; we want them to have a childhood they can fondly remember as well as learn the best ways to have good relationships with others.

Debbie: What we enjoy most about caring for children is seeing them learn something for the very first time. The pleasures of watching a child grow and become a loving and responsible human being are worth the sacrifices, tantrums and sleepless nights. We feel we can offer a child a loving home, a good education, tender arms and patient ears, and all the resources we possibly can to help them realize their dreams and fullest potential. We look forward to taking family vacations, reading bedtime stories and instilling the things that are truly important in life: love, respect, kindness, faith and embracing all the diversity that this world has to offer.

Todd is amazing with children. He is a great playmate, unafraid of being a kid himself (and I have the action figures to prove it!). He loves sports and enjoys projects that involve fixing or creating things that call for carpentry skills. He always finds a way to get a kid involved. We enjoy spending time with our friends and their children Eli and Sophia. There was one day when Todd was helping his friend turn a basement into a playroom for his children. The friends' son, Eli, got to help by holding the tape measure and "using" a screw driver to secure the door to his playroom's walk-in closet. Meanwhile I was outside with his younger sister Sophia pushing her back and forth on the swing while she squealed "weee". It was one of those moments when we both knew how much we wanted to know the joys of day-to-day life with children.

Todd: I earned a degree in Industrial Management and have since gone on to establish a career in the computer industry. I currently assist with the production of video editing software that's used by the four major professional sports; something right up my ally. Since I only work 10 minutes from home and work in the high tech field, I have a very flexible schedule that allows me to set my work hours around our family schedule. I look forward to being an active dad, one who's available for carpooling and field trips, for the call about the precious piece of paper left on the kitchen table and for the school "assembly".

Debbie: I earned bachelor's and master's degrees in business. I've always loved reading and learning new things, so education is very important to me; it's a value we hope to instill in our children. We've already started to save for our child's education so that he or she will have our support for college or other types of education. After graduation I worked my way into the field of human resources. I enjoy working in a field that is a great mix between working with people and working with computer systems. My job also allows me to flex my hours to work a part time schedule so that I can devote time during the week to building and raising our family. I have many personal interests such as floral arranging, watching movies, decorating, cooking/baking, walking and going to the ocean or a lake to soak up the sun. I look forward to sharing the joys of day-to-day life with our child.

Both of us work in the same town literally minutes from our home and so we're hoping to adjust our schedules so that we each work a four day work week and each take a different weekday to be at home with our child. The other three days our child will get to play with other children in a loving child-care situation. We look forward to hopefully catching lunch in the middle of the day with him or her on those days since we'll be close by in the same town.

Faith is an important part of our lives. We hope to share with our child the importance of valuing all people and "being there" for others. We will raise our child with an appreciation for different people's experience of life and the confidence that no one is or should be completely alone with their day-to-day struggles. We've found that having faith is an important part of getting through tough times and feel glad to pass that confidence on. We also enjoy the holidays as a way of bringing the families together. Our holidays tend to be at our house. I am the cook for Thanksgiving and Christmas, which are our most festive times.

We've talked to everyone about our adoption plans and they all have been extremely thrilled. They're delighted that we've gotten off the infertility path. My best friend of over 20 years has told us that she'll get the baby's room up and beautiful in 24 hours once we give her the word. Our families live close by and can't wait to include our child in the routine of warm family dinners in the middle of the week and time together on weekends.

We love the location of our home and the calmness we feel every time we walk through the doors. It's in a country-like setting but we're only 10 minutes from the heart of the suburb and only 45 minutes from Boston. Whether it's seeing a show in the city, taking a nature walk by a pond or going on a shopping spree at a nearby mall - we have it all at our fingertips. We have an equestrian farm down the street so we see the most beautiful horses prancing around our neighborhood; we hope to give our children riding lessons if they wish. We also have a 3 year old cat in our family, Herbie. We named him Herbie because Debbie recalled a movie from our childhood days called "Herbie: The Love Bug". Well, that's exactly what Herbie is to us, our little love bug.

When we learned about our infertility, we were both aware that we didn't want to go through life without children. We wanted to adopt a child and shower them with love and attention. Ironically in college I (Todd) wrote a paper and got into a heated discussion with my classmates about the definition of a family. I argued that a family is not just defined by who is a blood relative, it goes much deeper than that. It's a common bond: the sharing of hopes, dreams, wishes, emotions, everything that life has to offer, good and bad. It's being there for someone you love and care about, regardless of the circumstances. We've both been lucky enough to find these qualities in our families and friends, the people we hold dearest to us. We see adopting a child as a natural part of our belief that love makes a family.
ithout you, your child would never have known the miracle of life and all that is out there for each and every one of us. The child we are blessed to adopt will know, growing up, about how much love you have for the child and will be raised to appreciate how much they are loved by both birth and adoptive families. Going forward, we would be more than happy to share regular photos and letters so that we can all share in the joy of your precious child's growing up. We can send them to you or have them at the agency for when you want to receive them. If you'd like to learn more about us, please contact Full Circle at 1-888-452-3678. We hope to speak with you so that we can learn about the life you wish for your baby. Please know that whatever decision you make, you will always be in our thoughts and prayers.

With warmest regards,

Todd and Debbie

Full Circle

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