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Dear Birthmother Letter / Profile
Ron and Mary

Dear Birthmother,

We have been fortunate enough to find love early in our lives and to have had opportunities for education and to build careers. We live in a warm and friendly coastal town in the state of Maine. We enjoy Maine's natural beauty and spend a great deal of time outside all year long. We love to ski and hike in Maine's beautiful mountains and we love to sea kayak and visit the many wonderful beaches along the spectacular Maine coast. What is missing from our lives is a child to share our love with. We can't wait to take a child on outings in the outdoors, to make snowmen and snowforts in our yard, to read bedtime stories at night and to make concoctions in the kitchen. We look forward to pointing out birds, making heaps of yummy food, laughing and singing songs. Our dream is to be adoptive parents. While doctors have told us that we cannot bear a child, we look forward to sharing our love and our lives with the child we are blessed to parent. Thank you for taking the time to consider us as possible parents for your child.

As we've taken our first steps in the process of becoming adoptive parents, we have tried to imagine what you are experiencing. On many occasions we have discussed the courage and caring that enables a woman to make this loving plan for her child. We are grateful for adoption and grateful to you. While there is no way for us to know what you are experiencing before having the chance to talk with you, we do know that your decision is made with tremendous care for your child. If chosen, we will forever be grateful to you because we long to be parents and we will raise your child to know how much care went into your decision.

We have a good friend who made an adoption plan for her daughter many years ago. We've learned from her experience that it can be very reassuring to know that a child will be cared for by an at-home parent. Ron will be a full-time at-home Dad and Mary looks forward to being a very active Mom. We know that it can be important for you to receive frequent photo/letter updates and to be able to reach us easily so you can be sure that your child is growing up confident and strong, well-loved and thriving, and full of the knowledge that both his/her birth and adoptive parents love him/her. We would like to maintain such contact with you either directly or through the agency.

Before we learned of our infertility, we talked about wanting to give birth to one child and adopt one child. Thus, adoption has always been comfortable for us as a way of building a family. After four years of trying, including two surgeries, we understand that we will not be able give birth to a child. We have decided not to pursue using a lot of fertility medications in order to give birth. We are very fortunate that we have always wanted to adopt a child and that we will be completely fulfilled and totally at peace as parents by growing our family entirely through adoption.

Your child would grow up with parents who are both well-established in their lives and still romantic and in love. We met one Fall while on a week-end long white water rafting trip. (Ron): Although it was obvious right away that Mary was as cute as they come, it was her vivacious personality that really got to me by the end of the trip. Mary was full of life and laughter and she had a taste for adventure. She is still and will always be my fun loving adventure girl. (Mary): I fell for Ron's rugged good looks, warm smile and great sense of humor the first time I met him. I knew he was 'the one' right away and was instantly confident that I would spend the rest of my life with him. I'm still confident of that today and he still makes me laugh.

We were married in September 1992 surrounded by great friends and loads of family. The wedding itself was on Saturday but we held a celebration that lasted from Friday night through Sunday afternoon. We figured since all of the important people in our lives were gathered together, we wanted to make the event last as long as possible. We ate great food, played volleyball, laughed, and did a bit of hiking and mountain biking. Everybody had a blast all weekend long.

There are a few things that we do to assure that our marriage remains as fresh and loving as those early times. First of all, we can honestly say that we have never in 12 years raised our voices with each other. Even when we have points of difference in our views, we always maintain respect for each other and our selves. We talk with each other in a respectful manner and focus on learning what it is that has the other upset. We can usually find the middle ground pretty fast.

We have a couple of rituals that we never break. Every night, when we get into bed, we kiss each other good night. We make sure that we have worked out any differences that we might have so we can kiss each other and really mean it. Also, every day when we get ready for the work-day, we give each other a big hug. Another hug comes when we see each other after work. These hugs are often accompanied by a funny comment or act just to get some laughter. We do these things everyday without fail and we think that it helps us to keep our marriage alive and well. As parents, respectful conversations and acts of love and humor will be part of our child's everyday life.

Right now our immediate family includes us and our dog, Percy-the-wonder-pup. Percy is a five year old Portuguese Water Dog and loves kids. Both of Mary's parents and Ron's father are still alive. Ron's mom passed away in April of 2003. While she was sick in the hospital, Ron told her that we were planning on adopting a child. That made her very happy and she thought it was very sweet. We both grew up in families of six children, both of our families had four boys and two girls, and we are both child number four out of the six. Our children will have lots of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all of whom are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our adopted child. Two of Mary's brothers and their wives are expecting babies right now and they both have young children already, so our child will have 5 cousins close to the same age along with other cousins who are a bit older. We will most likely adopt a second child in the future because we both enjoy our brothers and sisters and believe that it is important for children to have siblings. Our entire family and friendship circle knows about our plan to adopt and is excited about the new love that will be entering their lives.

In addition to being immensely beautiful, Maine is also a wonderful place to raise a family. In fact, in 1999, the Children's Rights Council which is based in Washington D.C. rated Maine #1 - "the best state in the nation in which to raise a child." Maine was recently rated as having the highest performing K-12 education system and the highest rate of school completion in the country. What's even better is that the schools in our town are rated particularly high among Maine schools. We will encourage our child to attend college and will provide any type of higher education that he or she chooses. We have already started a college savings fund so that we can afford to send our child to the finest college.

We own a home in what is truly a remarkable neighborhood that is filled with children of all ages. Several of our neighborhood children joined their families through adoption so our child will grow up knowing other children who joined their families in the same way. The best part of the neighborhood is the neighbors themselves. We all know and take care of each other. We watch each others children and pets and we help each other with home projects. All of our neighbors are very supportive of adoption and are excited to see our family grow in this way. One family said that when we need to leave to come meet you or to come if you want us to be present around the time of your child's birth, they will take Percy, our dog into their house at a moments notice and keep him until we come home, however long that might be.

Our neighborhood is VERY safe for a number of reasons. The neighborhood consists primarily of one street which is a large circle (7 tenths of a mile around) and which is located right on a salt water marsh. Our circle is off a dead-end road so the only traffic is from people who live on the street. All of the houses are on one or two acres of wooded property and all have deeded access to the marsh. The children run freely between houses, through the woods and along the marsh. Kids can ride their bikes around the circle without the dangers of heavy traffic. All of us adults love and watch over the children as if they are all our own. We are located just a few miles from the town center so we have quick access to town and schools.

There are regular activities in our community that we can't wait to share with the child who will bless our lives. We have great neighborhood parties at Christmas and Halloween and outdoor parties have become a tradition throughout the summer. All of these parties are attended by adults and all the neighborhood children. We have a beach day where all of the neighborhood families go to one of our beautiful, local beaches for a day of sun, surf, and fun. Beyond our circle there are heaps of fun things that we are excited about sharing with our child. We are looking forward to bringing him or her to our nearby beaches to splash in the water and discover the wonders that live in the tide pools. We can't wait to take him or her skating on the skating rink in our Town Common and to go skiing and snowshoeing on the frozen marsh and nearby fields. Mary is an avid bird watcher and is looking forward to teaching our child how to identify all of the birds in our yard and nearby woods by sight and sound. Ron plays guitar and blues harmonica. Ron is also an excellent cook and prepares almost all of our very nutritious meals. Ron is looking forward to making yummy food and music with our son or daughter. We love where we live and would not trade living in our neighborhood for the fanciest mansion if it meant leaving here.

We will nurture our child's spirit by teaching him or her to love and respect all people and to cherish the great gift that is the earth on which we depend. We will teach our child to love and live the one value that unites all religions - to do unto others that which you would have them do unto you. We will share our faith that there is a great power that unites all human beings and that this great power is interpreted by different people in different ways. We will encourage our child to pursue any religious tradition that they choose including one that is based on their own spiritual exploration.

We imagine that it might be important for you that your child is raised by a family where the parents can dedicate a great deal of time to your child. Ron is very excited about taking a break from his career to be a full-time at-home dad. Ron has a college degree in biochemistry and has had a great career as an occupational health professional. When our children are a little older and in school, Ron is considering a career shift to being a science teacher; he loves teaching and would love a school schedule to be at home with the kids. Mary has a college degree in computer science. Her job involves managing huge amounts of information on computers for a large, wonderful, and very prosperous clothing company. Mary has been with her company for 12 years and is rated as one of the very few "Top Performers" in her company. Mary's job has lots of flexibility, so she will be able to adjust her work time and attend those special moments like school assemblies and parent-teacher conferences. We will be deeply involved with our child's school activities. Some of our closest friends and neighbors have young children or are just starting families. In the years before our child attends school, Ron will be able to make sure that he or she gets lots of play time with his or her little friends during the day.

We can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to make an adoption plan and we would like to do what we can to make it a little easier. If you would like to meet us in person we will be glad to travel to meet you. If you would like to stay in phone contact during your pregnancy, we would be delighted to talk with you and we can give you a toll free number so you can call us easily. If you would like to learn more about us or to talk with us directly, please call Full Circle at 1-888-452-3678.

With warmest regards,

Mary and Ron


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