Deb and Tom
We have tried for five years to have children. After the third infertility treatment failed, I had a very sad moment when I thought to myself, "no one will ever call me mommy." Thankfully, a nurse talked with me about adoption. And she did more. She told me that she had made an adoption plan for a child earlier in her life. I felt very moved that she would share such a private event in her life and I think that she told me this to comfort me. Tom and I have come to realize that the opportunity to raise a family will come when we are blessed by the kindness of a woman who may consider placing their child with us. This is why we are asking to be considered by you. Thank you for reading our letter.
We imagine that this may be a difficult time for you. We offer our wishes that you will find peace with whatever decision you make. Moreover, if chosen by you, we pledge our cooperation in making a plan that will help you to maintain your dignity in the process, feel informed about your child's progress over the years (if you wish this) and which will in other ways, be responsive to your needs. We respect and honor your courage.
Tom and I have been happily married for almost eight years. We met on the fourth of July, on a small island. At the time, Tom had a beautiful old wooden sailboat. We met at a beach club where music was playing. He offered to take me sailing the following day. I remember that, as he rowed me out to the boat, the children's story “The Owl and the
Pussycat,” came into my head, something about a pea green boat and oh miss pussy will you marry me. Maybe his eyeglasses looked owlish or perhaps I had a premonition. Those sails around the island on sunny days are special memories. After our courtship, we married. Our love of the beach and the water has found new and varied outlets: kayaking, scuba diving, and for Tom, windsurfing. Today we have two dogs and a house in a small town in New England with many children around us, schools in walking distance, and parks and lakes nearby. We spend time with friends in the mountains and at the ocean, which are both a short drive away. We both come from loving families and want to extend that love through another generation. Though we haven't been able to bear a child, we know that life without a child to love is not our choice. We look forward to the day when we will hold a child that comes through the blessing of adoption.
I am trained as a nurse and currently work from home and directly with doctors who are researching new drugs for their patients. The flexibility of my schedule will allow me to take time off to care for a baby. Eventually, I would return to work part time, allowing me to spend the rest of my time at home. I love to cook and Tom is always willing to try new foods. Frequently friends are asked to join us for these culinary adventures.
Tom is an engineering manager developing new products for the computer storage industry. He has worked for the same company for over ten years, and they offer flex time as an option which he will make use of to spend time with me and our growing family. He has five weeks of vacation time banked and will be able to take some time off to be with the baby. He enjoys mountain biking after work and playing racquetball. Together, we spend our time kayaking, scuba diving, gardening, and playing with our dogs Ivan and Kayla; our dogs are very child-friendly.
Although our families are spread out over several states, we all get together for the holidays and vacations. Every year, we visit my family before Christmas to have an early Christmas dinner together. My niece is six and it seems like such a short time ago that I was holding her at her Baptism. The christening gown that she wore is the same gown that my brother and I wore. I have always thought of the day that I would dress our baby in that gown. My brother and his wife are expecting their second child. When I told my mother that we were planning to adopt she said, "Oh, I'll be a grandmom times three."
On Christmas Eve, Tom’s family all assemble at his parents home for a feast. His mother is an incredible cook and both of his parents really enjoy having everyone together for the holidays. Tom's brother and sister are both married with pets. Rob and Susie have two dogs and Carrie and Richard have a parrot and a cat. Both of Tom's parents are looking forward to the prospect of a grandchild. Two years ago, during a Christmas visit, we took Tom's father to the aquarium. He liked it so much that he has learned to scuba dive and volunteers at the aquarium. This year we went on vacation diving with Tom's parents and his brother and sister in-law. Last fall Tom's sister and her husband joined the dogs and us for a week at the ocean. We are fortunate that most of Tom's family have very active personalities which makes planning vacations together easy.
We are both excited about becoming adoptive parents and sharing our daily lives, fun times, faith, future, and love with our child. Though we don't know each other, one thing we have in common is a chance to share in the beauty and wonder of your child. If you should choose to entrust your child to our love and care, we will care for and guard your child, so closely, and with such great love, that you will be able to rest easy.
We have already started a fund for college; we want you to be assured your child will have choices if or when he or she wishes to pursue an education. If blessed to parent your child, they will grow strong and proud in the full knowledge that your decision was made with love and great care. We will be grateful to you all our lives.
We cannot even begin to imagine the tremendous amount of love and reflection it has taken you to
We wish you the best and thank you again for considering us.
Deb and Tom